Daily Brew'I wanted to hide in bed': The toll of a gruelling political campaign
After months of campaigning, any candidate can be forgiven for being a little exhausted. Political campaigns are long, gruelling, and the pressure forces folks into bad habits. The constant attacks and unending spotlight make it worse.
So it should be no surprise that one day after the Toronto municipal election was called, with John Tory being named the city’s next mayor, a few candidates have begun opening up about the frustration felt on the campaign trail.
Mayoral candidates and those ran high profile council campaigns, some even being subjected to racism or sexism, are taking breaks and reassessing their future plans for public life.
"The last few months contain some of the most amazing moments of my life," mayoral candidate Morgan Baskin wrote in a post to her campaign website on Tuesday.
"But there were lots of things I didn’t talk about. Lots of things I never said. Lots of days that were not good. I didn’t talk about how I felt like a failure. How I cried. How often I felt like crying. I didn’t talk about the days I felt so nauseous for fear of disappointing people."
It is hard to appreciate the depths of exhaustion and frustration that must come with an election campaign. Toronto’s election season is nine long months of early mornings and late nights, of rushed lunches and countless public appearances. A successful campaign makes it all worthwhile, and experienced candidates have been through it before, and expect to go through it again.
But of the 65 candidates who ran for mayor and 358 others who ran for a seat on city council, there are more than a handful left feeling that void.
Baskin is clearly among those candidates. The 19-year-old student ran a solid mayoral campaign, receiving 1,009 votes on Election Night - making her the seventh runner up to Tory.
And while she should reflect positively on the experience once she’s had time to rest, it is entirely reasonable for her to be frustrated today.
With the number of candidates that ran, there was never enough coverage for lesser-known options, and her age somewhat limited her to discussing “youth” issues when she had it. She was also open about the sexism and misogyny she faced on the campaign trail.
On top of that, she became rightfully viewed as a role model for Toronto’s youth, though that brought with it its own issues.
The worst was not being able to talk about it. I tweeted that I wanted to hide in bed for the last few days of the campaign and many people had the reaction “never hide Toronto needs you” I understand where they were coming from. That they were trying to be supportive and kind and I appreciate that kindness. Toronto may need me, but I need me first. However much Toronto may need me the last eight months I have poured as much as I could give into all of this, and it wasn’t enough. That is okay, but I can’t do that forever. I cannot give indefinitely. My drive, essence, love whatever you want to calls hat keeps me doing this is not limitless. It is a renewable resource. If I take care of it, I will not run out, if I don’t I will.
Baskin notes that she’s not ready to commit to a career in politics and says right now, she needs a break.
"I don’t know what exactly that will mean, probably some rest and some acting like the rest of the nineteen year olds I know. I hope you are okay with that, though I must admit I don’t really care if you aren’t. I hope you don’t judge me for it, though again I don’t really care if you do," she wrote.
Another candidate who faced frustration this past election was Andray Domise, a key opponent in the Ward 2 - Etobicoke North race that was eventually won by Rob Ford.
Domise received a great deal of attention for his campaign, both for daring to be critical of Ford and for the adversity his positive campaign received. On Tuesday, he confessed to being burnt out by the experience.
In the public eye, I’m not allowed to get emotional or weepy about this stuff. But the cameras are gone now, so I’m taking off the mask. In my teens, I didn’t believe I’d ever grow up to amount to anything. I’ve struggled with self-esteem issues and depression for most of my adult life. In fact, I’m having trouble even typing this; I can barely make out the letters on the screen. Some of you called me “inspirational,” but it was you who inspired me. Where I failed to believe in myself, you gave me the strength to continue.
In some ways, Domise and Baskin faced similar struggles, and the tolls it took on each of them were surprisingly similar. Both admitted to wanting to hide in bed at times during the campaign, both admitted be being left physically and emotionally drained.
Domise wrote: “I’m fifty pounds lighter than I was in April, and not in a good way. Skipping meals, eating on the road, and being kept conscious by sugar and caffeine takes its toll.”
Baskin wrote: “I have poured my body and soul into this and that isn’t healthy. I have lost weight, and not in a good way. Too many days I forgot to eat. Too many days I ate foods that I had no idea where they had come from. There were days when I barely drank any water at all.”
It is also worth noting that neither of these candidates has turned their back on city politics. Indeed, the door remains open for future campaigns. But both Baskin and Domise say they will give back to Toronto in more immediate, meaningful ways. Domise says he will be working on some youth mentoring projects, Baskin says she, and others, should remain committed to activism and participate in the conversation on how to improve the city.
One candidate who says she will re-enter politics at the first opportunity is Munira Abukar, a Muslim Ward 2 candidate whose campaign was the target of racist graffiti and attacks.
She told CBC News on Tuesday that despite the idea making her family nervous, she fully intends to run again.
"I’m really lucky to have a thick skin and a strong attitude. What it does is makes me want to hold politicians accountable," she told the network. "I’m 22 and I let my volunteer team know last night that I have two things that are great: energy and time."
