Randy and Evi QuaidThe unlikely case of actor Randy Quaid seeking refugee protection in Canada won't be resolved in time for Christmas, but his wait for a hearing in Vancouver alongside wife Evi since Oct. 22 provides intriguing grist for glossy magazines.
Esquire staff writer Chris Jones has offered one take: "With Randy Quaid in a Windowless Room." The three-hour interview focused on the "Hollywood Star Whackers" that the couple believes is out to kill them and other notorious actors by staging their suicides.
Evi explained that how the knowledge that 60-year-old Randy has sleep apnea might lead to him being drugged in his sleep, while she will be stabbed to death, leading him to possibly wake up and kill himself in terror and grief. She outlined other gruesome options, while Randy mostly listened, although he expressed hope for snow.
"The Quaid Conspiracy," published in the January issue of Vanity Fair, finds the couple visited in Vancouver's Chinatown by writer Nancy Jo Sales, who recounts the sordid saga that led them there: a Sept. 2009 arrest after skipping out on a $10,000 hotel bill, followed by a Sept. 2010 arrest for squatting in the California house they claimed sinister forces led them to sell against their will.
Vanity Fair's version outlined Evi's evident influence on Randy's career, as she was presumably "entangled in competition" with Meg Ryan, who was married to brother Dennis Quaid, a more successful leading man.
The reputation Randy gained as a buffoonish comic actor in "National Lampoon's Vacation" were diminished due to his increasingly erratic behaviour.
Randy also claimed in a convoluted lawsuit, now aborted, that his residual cheques for past films were being funneled through a now-deceased woman named Ronda L. Quaid.
And then there's the theory that all of this is a promotional stunt for a reality show Evi and Randy wanted to produce, "Star Trackers."
The more sympathetic account from Esquire observed throughout that the couple are fiercely united in their views.
"If the killers really are as smart as they seem," wrote Chris Jones, "they will use Randy and Evi's love for each other against them. It's the kind of love that can be made to look like whatever it is you want to see."
Quotes from the Vanity Fair investigation, meanwhile, are serving the celebrity media blogosphere with plenty of fodder. Yet the conclusion is the same.
"They wanted to separate us," said Quaid, "because Evi is very intuitive and very smart. She's the smartest person I know. You can call her crazy, you can call her whatever you want, but she is my lifeline, and if she wasn't with me, I don't know where I'd be."