Winnipeg transgender student wonders where he'll sleep on school trip

Winnipeg student Isaac Cassels was anxious for months waiting to hear from his school about where he would sleep on an upcoming school trip.

His class will travel to Ottawa and stay in a hotel next month.

"It feels like they are being condescending, like they don't really believe me or something, like 'oh you're not a 'real boy,'" said the Grade 8 student.

Cassels is transgender. The 14-year-old came out and changed his gender in October.

The Cassels family said after the school suggested a few unsatisfactory rooming arrangements, they decided to go public to CBC News with their concerns.

"It makes me feel kind of isolated and that my principal doesn't want any issues," said Cassels. "I don't mean that in a negative way, it just feels like she isn't super concerned about me."

Laurel Cassels said the day after CBC News contacted the school division about the issue, she got a phone call from the school saying Isaac will be allowed to room with his male friends.

Weeks passed before school decided

Cassels says they'd been waiting for weeks for school officials to make up their minds.

At first, the school suggested her son room with the girls. After she said no, the suggestion was for him to room alone.

"When 50 kids get to have a big [pajama] party, and he has to be by himself nearby, that seems totally unfair," she said.

The Cassels said the only option that worked for them was for Isaac to room with the other boys in his class.

That's when the school told her they would consider it, but would have to tell the classmate's parents.

"It's none of my principal's business to be telling other people because it's my personal information and they don't have any right to know," said Isaac.

Laurel said she is concerned Isaac could lose friends if administrators tell parents.

"Isaac's relationships with his friends are really important — especially right now, he needs that support from kids who are accepting of him."

In the end, the school sided with the Cassels and decided against informing other parents about Isaac's gender.

The family said it is happy with the outcome. Isaac said it was important for him to speak out for the sake of other transgender students.

"I hope other kids who are going on school trips in the future, who are transgender, won't have to room with the wrong gender," said the teenager.

Accommodating students

The Winnipeg School Division (WSD) says it cannot comment on this case because of privacy issues.

"As far as LGBTQ accommodation goes, it's an evolving issue, we've been looking at it on an ongoing basis," said Radean Carter, public relations officer for the WSD.

Carter said the division was one of the first in Canada to insist students are called by his or her preferred pronoun and wear whichever gender of clothing he or she identifies with.

She said schools allow the student to use the bathroom they choose and will also provide a gender neutral bathroom.

"We've really made a lot of inroads, but things take time," said Carter.

The WSD has a diversity and equity education policy which includes gender identity.

Struggle for schools

Mike Tuthill, executive director of the Rainbow Resource Centre, says schools struggle when it comes to dealing with transgender students. He says it's understandable because the issues are sensitive.

"Often times they are consulting us in terms of what should be done," said Tuthill, who add this is the new reality for schools and school divisions.

"When we talk to trans kids, especially young kids, they'll be like, 'yup, I'm a girl with a penis,' or 'I'm a boy with a vagina' and that's just the way that it is," said Tuthill. "For them it doesn't become this cultural putting-people-in-boxes as we tend to do as adults."

He said gender identity does not determine sexual orientation: "gender identity is how we identify ourselves as being male, female or neither."

Tuthill said at Rainbow Resource Centre, anyone who identifies as a man is welcome in men's group, and anyone who identifies as a woman is welcome in women's group. He said schools should follow suit.

Tuthill said the school shouldn't have suggested Cassels room alone.

"This isn't something that Isaac asked for. This isn't something that's being done for his safety," said Tuthill. "It's being done for the perceived safety of others."

Tuthill said he is happy the school decided to allow Cassels to room with his friends. He is also in contact with the division to help work on similar issues that may come up in the future.

Tuthill says his best advice to schools and divisions is to maintain the transgender students' privacy.

He says it's not up to the school to tell other parents about a student's gender change.

"We don't believe that anyone should be outed. Outing is something you do on your own at your own time."

Tuthill says it's only up to the child to reveal his or her gender identity and when.