13 Wild College Roommate Horror Stories That Would Make You Want To Keep The Dean's Phone Number On Speed Dial
Reddit user u/one_n_0nly_throwaway recently posted this question for the AskReddit community: College students, who was that roommate from hell, and for what reason? With over 1,000 replies, there were tons of juicy tales to choose from.
Here are just a few of the stories people shared:
1.Clean-up Controversy
"She wasn’t the worst, but she had some pretty gross habits. There was one time she was waxing her crotch with those wax strips. After she ripped one off, it fell facedown on the floor in the room. The rest of the semester had dried wax glue and pube hair on the floor. She refused to clean it." —u/Snoo11882
2.Piss Poor Judgement
"I once woke up at 2 a.m., saw a ghostly figure sitting in my computer chair, and heard the sounds of rushing water. Initially thought I was hallucinating, but turns out my roommate was stone drunk, mistook my chair for a toilet, and pissed all over my floor and belongings. I confronted him about it, and he denied everything, maybe he didn't even remember." —u/WhyTheHellnaut
3.Campus Klepto
"Not roommate but more of a floormate. Had this one gal that was really friendly with everyone on the floor (boys & girls). She was always in someone's room hanging out and would eventually go to someone else's room to hang out. She did this routinely every day after classes.
Welp... it turned out she was the resident closet junkie and would go to everyone's room, being really friendly, to steal all their shit — watches, jewelry, wallets, laptops....anything worth money. Everyone found out after a mid-term party when she was out in the parking lot completely blasted on whatever she was taking. She got arrested and expelled, and when it came time to clear out her room, that's when everyone's stolen shit started popping up." —u/h1r0ll3r
4.Something Smells
"It wasn't the roommate who left dishes to rot in the sink.
It wasn't the roommate who pirated movies and got me fined cause my name was on the account.
It was the guy who smelled so bad that simply walking past his room you could see cartoon smell lines wafting out. That smell was baked into the soul of the room. You'd need a goddamn priest to fix that godforsaken space." —u/RaistAtreides
5.Too Hot To Trot
"Many nights she would wake me up by watching kiddie shows (like LazyTown) at full volume and weeping loudly in her bed as she crunched on chips because she was homesick. She lived 30 minutes away and could have commuted instead of dorming.
Towards the end of the year, her boyfriend was pledging a frat, and on the last night, they made him run some sort of obstacle course and covered him in things like flour and hot sauce. She told me he would be coming to sleep over because he was finally finished pledging, and I agreed. He showed up as I was falling asleep, sweaty as fuck and covered in smelly food. He said he was going to take a shower and disappeared, so I fell asleep. I woke up about an hour later from the sounds and the godawful stench of them fucking. They fell asleep, and he never showered that night. I didn’t speak to her for the rest of the year (only a couple of weeks, luckily) or ever again after that." —u/posi_mistic
6.What's The Beef?
"My roommate didn't shower or do laundry for the entire semester I lived with him. He and everything he owned (and subsequently everything I owned) smelled like raw beef." —u/edgarpickle
7.Summertime Cleanliness
"Stayed with this one guy in my dorm who was super friendly, but never left his room the whole year. We shared a five-bedroom apartment, and everyone had their own room.
Our unit developed a mouse problem, and my roommates noticed a bunch of their dishes went missing. It turns out my roommate had a hoarding problem and was the source of our mouse infestation. When summer came, and we had to move out, we saw inside his room for the first time — piles up to the ceiling of trash, garbage, used mouse traps, and dirty dishes." —u/threadbarefemur
8.Hot Line Bling
"Before cellphones, racked up a $1300 phone sex tab on the house phone in one month. Thrown out immediately, took him to small claims court." —u/Ok-Lavishness-7904
9."Happy" Days
"Had a roommate that played 'Happy' by Pharrell on repeat the year it came out. I'm talking back-to-back on a loop. It was insane, he just would not stop, even by my pleading. It didn't stop until every other roommate got fed up enough as well.." —u/GodAwfulFunk
10.One Last Sip
"This was my buddy's roommate. He would get drunk every night and would be very belligerent. He would wake up my friend at 3 a.m. with a knife and say shit like, 'You know I could've killed you right now?' That guy ended up getting help and has been a total saint since." —u/gogi_apparatus
11.Bound To Be Besties
"We were friends in high school, with her being a year above me. When she suggested we be roommates my freshman year, I figured it was better than rooming with a stranger.
It turns out she saw me as her best friend and became very jealous and possessive when I started making new friends on campus. She demanded a 'best friend day' (a day where I spent it all with her and only her) when I got into a relationship to prove that I wasn't abandoning her.
On top of that, she was extremely sheltered and babied. She would only wash her hair once a week so that her mom could visit and straighten it for her (no one else could do it right, apparently). Yes, some people just wash their hair once a week, but I'm pretty sure this girl only showered her whole body once a week as well, based on, erm, smells. She claimed she showered every day, just when I wasn't there. That roommate situation lasted a year before I couldn't anymore, lol." —u/osnapitzbrit
12.The Hands-on Approach
"Had a roommate who insisted on masturbating when I was in the room. The first time it happened I thought maybe she forgot I was in the room somehow when I was just a few feet from her. Next time it happened, I didn't turn around but started purposefully banging shit around, hoping she'd stop. She definitely finished instead. Luckily she was always under the covers, but she definitely got off on the fact that I/someone was there. I stayed out of my room as much as I possibly could that year." —u/jooby-the-nooby
13.Lastly, The Krusty Crab
"When I went home for the weekend, she would borrow my clothes and let her friend sleep in my bed. I know it doesn’t sound horrible, but her friend had crabs. So, I’d have to change my sheets as soon as I got back, every time." —u/mamacrocker
All I can say is W O W!
Do you have a wild roommate story? Tell me all about it in the comments below!
