In this episode of In The Know: Walks of Life, an 18-year-old woman makes her way back to her small Midwestern town after spending a year at college in the big city. After admitting to partying a bit too much and making a few regrettable decisions during her freshman year at school, the woman is hoping for a reset back at home, hoping for opportunities to reflect, forgive, heal and grow.
“Right now where I am physically, I think it goes really hand in hand to where I am mentally,” she says. After an up-and-down freshman year, the woman is ready to reset in the comfort of her hometown. “Of course you always need a break sometimes. And I needed a break from the city.”
Throughout her first year at college, the woman feels she lost touch with her sense of self, and made decisions that she ultimately regretted. “I would say that when I went over there that I really just didn’t know how to act,” she says.
Growing up in a town of around 4,000 people, the woman “grew up and got super close to” all of the guys from her hometown. Transitioning to the big city exposed the woman to endless options in terms of relationships and partnership, and she had a difficult time maintaining self control.
“I just did really ****ed up shit. And I’ll be honest, in the moment it was just like, ‘It’s freshman year, it’s my first year of college, like, I’m allowed to do this, and I’m going to go out and get drunk four nights out of the week,’ and **** that’s exactly what I did,” she says, regrettably. “I literally just went crazy. Like, stupid crazy.”
A pattern of low-points, which included getting “blacklisted from a frat,” helped light a spark for the student, serving as a wake-up call to get her life in order. “I really just need to better myself,” she says. “And I’m well aware of that.”
Since being home for 2 months, the woman is taking advantage of the reset period, looking to better prepare herself for next year.
“Truly, I’ve been putting my health first, like mentally too,” she says. “I’m regaining these connections that I had. I’m in and out of the gym, eating healthy, and watching how much I drink.”
She shares that she’s been drinking every weekend, but has only “blacked out” once. “That’s really good for me,” she says. The woman knows that her path is a long one, but she’s taking her self-growth in stride, trying to maintain her patience along the way. “Great things take time. Everything takes time,” she shares. “But don’t you just wish that that time would go by faster sometimes?”
While she’s proud of her progress, part of the student is worried that her friends from college will have a hard time seeing her in that “new shed of life.” But the larger part of her knows that she can’t let that stop her from her self-improvement journey.
“If I’m happy about myself and I’m happy where I’m at right now, why the **** would I care what other people think of me?” she says. “My opinion of myself is the only one that matters.”
Looking ahead, the woman is looking forward to seeing the person she is after her period of self-healing and reflecting.
“I’m definitely ready to come to terms with myself and how I was acting, what I was doing. It’s my time to evolve into what I want to be,” she shares enthusiastically. “I’m so excited for that. Consistency is key. Gotta maintain. I’m ready for it.”
“In The Know: Walks of Life” is available on all major podcast platforms, including Apple Podcasts, Spotify, Amazon Music, and Stitcher.
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