18 Secrets Women Keep Hidden From Men And Will Never, Ever, EVERRRR Release From The Vault

18 Secrets Women Keep Hidden From Men And Will Never, Ever, EVERRRR Release From The Vault

We asked the women of the BuzzFeed Community to tell us the deepest, darkest secrets they've kept from men over the years.

Janelle James on "Abbott Elementary"

They didn't hold anythinggggg back and shared some pretty revealing things. Their secrets ranged from harsh to very valid, but above all, they were extremely eye-opening.

D'Arcy Carden in "The Good Place"

So, here are some of the biggest truths women have kept from men for a long, longgggg time:

Note: Some submissions are from this Reddit thread by user u/iluvfreakyshit1.

1."We treat men with kid gloves. We try to keep men happy and fed, we turn down advances in whatever way will make men feel the best about themselves, and we work extremely hard to keep men from turning angry. We fear men’s anger because we know all too well that it can (and often) does end in death for us. So, we end up coddling all men for our own protection."


2."If I buy a piece of jewelry, new shoes, a new purse, or anything for myself, I fib about the cost. If it's a $250 purse, I'll lie and say I 'splurged' and spent $100 on the handbag. It's just easier this way, and he has no clue about the cost of anything I buy for myself."


A person holding multiple colorful shopping bags while walking on a city street
Yakobchukolena / Getty Images/iStockphoto

3."I only own two bras (I can't find a goddamn 34DDD for less than $50, and who has that kind of money?). I don't think I've washed either of them in at least a month, possibly two. GOTTA MAINTAIN THE INTEGRITY OF THAT ELASTIC."


4."We are just as gross (if not GROSSER) than you are. From letting huge farts rip and giggling to staring at period clots, yeah...we be nasty. We're just better at hiding it and cleaning up the evidence ;)."


A person in a bathrobe is sitting and holding a tampon in their hand, suggesting preparation or discussion around menstrual health
Bymuratdeniz / Getty Images

5."I’m a straight woman, and I think all dicks are ugly. Even if I like you a lot, it’s just not exciting to look at. Obviously, if we’ve gotten that far where we’ve seen each other naked, I like looking at the rest of you, though."


6."Sometimes I suggest watching porn while we have sex because I feel bad that they have to have sex with me. This way, they can pretend they're having sex with someone else."


7."How much I don't want them talking to me when I don't know them. I've already seen numerous times that they can't handle it because they feel entitled to attention from women. I'm talking about when I'm out in nature taking photos, and they think I should answer their questions about what I'm taking photos of and their long, dumb stories of crap they see in their backyard. Or when I'm sitting reading in a cafe, eating alone, or even when I'm grocery shopping. I actually don't want to talk to you, and I don't want you to come up to me to ask random questions. Most other women don't either, believe me."


A man and a woman are standing in a living room. The man appears to be speaking intently, while the woman looks away with a furrowed brow and crossed arms
Vladimir Vladimirov / Getty Images

8."At least for me, the period-related mood swings are less about irrationally disproportionate emotional responses and more about a weakening of the filter that usually holds back an emotional response. The things that piss me off when I'm on my period still piss me off when I'm not on my period — I just normally try not to express them."


9."No matter how much he tells me he loves me, I'm beautiful, I'm the best thing since bacon, he's not going anywhere, and he buys me flowers and chocolate, I am absolutely terrified of losing him. Because at some point, he'll get sick of me, or he'll meet someone prettier, more clever, or more into the same things he is. I know it will happen eventually, and I know I will completely fall apart when it happens. But until then, he's not going to know. I'm just enjoying it while it lasts."


Two pairs of hands, one male and one female, are clasped together over a divorce agreement with two wedding rings and a pen placed on the document
Andreypopov / Getty Images/iStockphoto

10."I don’t tell them my real body count. I always give them a lower number because having a body count higher than, like, five is considered 'shameful' for women. I once told a guy my real number, and he slut-shamed me (even though it’s not that high, and would be a perfectly 'normal' one for a dude). His was higher, by the way. It definitely feeds into the patriarchy, and I should just own it — but most men have a culturally ingrained negative conception of it and would deem me less worthy."


11."We generally are not impressed by your ham-fisted attempt to play the bass guitar. Maybe a song or two, but we didn't sign up for an exclusive, five-hour solo bass concert featuring Dave from Tinder. Take the non-specific compliment and put the guitar down."


12."We have more hair than you might think, and we hide it pretty well. I'm talking about the stray hairs on our chin, nipples, and butt 😅."


A close-up of a person using a yellow razor to shave their leg
Phanasitti / Getty Images

13."How much I compare their actions to my father's. If I see something too similar, it raises a red flag for me. I can feel myself emotionally withdraw from a man when something they do or say reminds me of the way my dad used to make me feel growing up. I'm married to a great man who is the opposite of my dad. I'm grateful every day that our future children won't have to feel as small as I did growing up."


14."I have lunch with an old guy friend of mine. My boyfriend doesn’t know that he works on the same campus as me or that we have lunch. We don’t hook up or flirt, but my boyfriend didn’t like him from the first time they met. I know he would make it into such an issue and wouldn’t believe it was just lunch, so I don’t tell him."


15."That sometimes I can be jealous of a platonic relationship. It occurs more with male friends than with female friends. It's not the hugest issue in the world, but it's not something I want to admit to him either openly."


Three men, unknown identities, are sitting at a table laughing and eating burgers and fries in a casual setting
Dglimages / Getty Images

16."How much I actually cry. Sad? Cry. Angry? Cry. Super happy? Tears of joy. It's frustrating most of the time, and I don't want it to be misunderstood that I am 'irrationally emotional.' I can think just fine, thank you. My eyes are just leaking."


17."I don’t put effort into my appearance to attract attention from men ('male attention is abundant and low-value'). I do it because it feels like putting on armor, another layer of protection against being vulnerable. There’s also a sense of being intimidating and 'above reproach' that feels safe — like, you can try to critique me, but not my appearance."

"It really just reflects how messed-up social dynamics can be (and shoutout to the childhood trauma of habitual bullying 💕)."


18.And finally, "I’ve never once had a man make me orgasm better than I’ve made myself."


Young woman in bed
Oleg66 / Getty Images

Note: Some submissions have been edited for length and/or clarity.