The 2021 Bandwagon All-Star Team and Olympic send-off | The Bandwagon
This week, Hannah Keyser gives you her favorite players from the first half of the season, the 2021 Bandwagon All-Star team! Hannah also shares her radical idea to change the Olympics as she heads off to Tokyo for the 2020 Games.
Video Transcript
HANNAH KEYSER: Here's a question. If you were in the car with somebody else, your significant other, and you're, like, on a long drive, will you listen to a podcast?
- Yeah.
HANNAH KEYSER: Like, sometimes we will put on a podcast in the car. And then, like, start to talk, and I'll pause it, like, this reminds me of something I wanted to tell you actually.
It'll be like, so the other night-- and I'll be like, actually, that reminds me. The other night--
I'm Hannah Keyser, and this is The BandWagon.
All right, we're going start this episode with a little bit of housekeeping, because people love when you do that. So this is going to the last Bandwagon for an unspecified amount of time. Not too long. So, next week is Major League Baseball's All-star Game in Denver. I will be there. If you see me, you should totally say hi. And then pretty much right after that, I will be flying to Tokyo for the 2020, now in 2021, Olympic Games. And if you see me there, you don't, because you're not supposed to be there.
So while I am there, we are going to try to do an Olympic Bandwagon somehow, with, like, not all of this gear, and these lovely people. And I would love to Bandwagon some Olympic teams, some Olympic sports, some Olympic foods. And if we can do that, you'll see it. And if we can't do that, you'll catch us again when we're back in baseball in mid-August.
So this episode is going to be both our All-Star a preview and our Olympic preview. And so this is, to kick it off, our third annual Bandwagon All-Stars.
[CHEERING]
And just like we did in the past two years, we don't have time to talk about 18 players, and subs, and all that. And so you're just going to get a single unified team for both leagues. We're only 10 players. Actually, 9 players. That's a spoiler.
Let's get to it! We're going to start at catcher Buster Posey.
- Yeah!
- That's how I roll.
- Big G.
HANNAH KEYSER: Bandwagon All-Stars are awarded irrespective of actual All-Star accolades, but it is one of the coolest stories in the sport. That a 34-year-old catcher, over a decade removed from winning Rookie of the Year and kicking off a dynasty that's long since gone dormant, is the actual starting catcher for the NL All-Stars.
Buster Posey isn't just the heart, soul, and primary source of institutional wisdom on a Giants team it's defied expectations so far this season. He's also one of their more statistically valuable players. So far this summer, his offensive stats are pretty much right in line with what he did in his MVP-winning 2012 season.
HANNAH KEYSER: That was a long time ago.
- Which is really just proof positive that, like, Posey did by opting out, all should have just taken a [BLEEP] break last year and not bothered to work through a literal pandemic.
First base, Vladimir Guerrero Jr. The best pure power hitter in the game right now is living out some sort of preordained destiny with his first official All-Star appearance after spending his formative years looking entirely too cool for the whole spectacle. He's there with his dad. Seriously, I hope a little Vlad rolls up to the red carpet in Denver wearing JNCO-style jeans and a pastel polo that's so big it could double as a nightgown.
This incredible throwback and the public validation posted by Vlad Sr. is a rare argument for why it would actually be OK for your parents to be on social media. And plus, that photo. Look at him on this field. Just goes to show that it is possible to make league-wide All-Star uniforms that look really cool. So you know, something for Nike to consider next year.
At second base, Jake Cronenworth. This time last year, Jake Cronenworth was a largely unheralded part of the trade that brought Tommy Pham to San Diego. And if you knew anything about him, it was probably that he had some cool two-way potential.
Unfortunately, he's only gotten to pitch 2/3 of an inning since then, because that's what'll happen when you are suddenly one of the most valuable infielders in the game. So since the start of 2020, that's last year and then the first half of this year, Cronenworth leads all second baseman in WAR with his old school style contact skills. And he celebrated his actual All-Star selection by joining Twitter. Big mistake.
And I think an excellent way to celebrate his Bandwagon All-Star status would be following me. @HannahRKeyser. Don't forget don't forget the R. It's my middle name.
Third base, Kris Bryant. So, tampering is technically against the rules in baseball. But if your team's representative to the midsummer classic isn't, I don't know, talking up the steak house in their home city or whatever it takes to woo the third baseman with a heart of gold and the eyes of a husky, are they even really trying?
- No.
HANNAH KEYSER: At shortstop, who else? Fernando Tatís Jr.
- Yes!
- Boo!
HANNAH KEYSER: It doesn't seem possible that the face of baseball is playing in his first ever All-Star game this year. But it also doesn't seem possible that a dude with a dislocated shoulder could lead the NL in home runs, including three from a single night.
- Fernando drives one to center field! Pavin Smith is back! Third home run of the night for Fernando!
HANNAH KEYSER: You're watching a baseball show right now, so I assume you are aware of a living legend that is Tatís, and so instead I'm going to try to teach you something about Tatís that even Tatís himself doesn't know. Namely, his favorite animal.
When we talked to him a few weeks ago, Tatís mentioned that he was a big fan of the San Diego Zoo, but did not know the name of a mysterious animal he'd seen there and become enamored with.
What was your favorite animal at the San Diego Zoo?
- I saw an animal that I can't even remember the name. It was so weird, I've never seen that in my life before.
HANNAH KEYSER: OK, describe it. Give me a clue.
- It was kind of like a moose, but it has, like, a small elephant trunk. That's how you say it?
HANNAH KEYSER: Trunk. Trunk, yeah.
- Yeah, I don't know. First time I've seen that in my life.
HANNAH KEYSER: He described it as a moose with a trunk. And I don't know. After careful combing of the San Diego Zoo website, I think he's talking about this Star Wars looking saiga. Check out this antelope. Super-- they're really rare, on the verge of extinction.
HANNAH KEYSER: Dr. Seuss drew that.
HANNAH KEYSER: Yeah, my guy out here looking like a Dr. Seuss CGI reindeer from hell. And yeah, you're welcome, Fernando. That's your favorite animal. Our first outfielder, Cedric Mullins. Now that MLB TV and the internet make it possible to see any game you want, subject blackout restrictions, the exhibition part of All-Star isn't quite as important. So you can tune in to teams around the country to see the best players in the league on a nightly basis, no matter where they play.
You can do that. But you probably don't if they play in Baltimore. Which means Mullins, the 5'8 center fielder with serious range will have to go to Denver to get the national attention he deserves.
And so a quick recap if you haven't watched any Royals games this year. His defense looks like this.
- Strikes. Center field. Mullins, on the move. Dives and got it!
- Oh, my goodness.
HANNAH KEYSER: And his league-leading hitting is some kind of magic.
HANNAH KEYSER: Popped up, left side. Bogaerts. Oh, juggles it, and can't control it. Mullins around second, heading for third. Nobody covers.
HANNAH KEYSER: Next up, Nick Castellanos. The man, the meme, the surprisingly smoldering real life [BLEEP] post.
Hitting is all about timing, and Castellanos has a particular knack that comes in handy at the plate. His ability to get the bat on the ball of course, but also in a slightly broader and significantly more ironic sense.
- He also went to Bishop Ward High School. There's a drive into deep left center field, and there's never a great time to eulogize someone during the broadcast. So we apologize for the timing.
HANNAH KEYSER: But see, he doesn't just troll broadcasters delivering somber news during his at-bats. He also pulled off the ultimate shade of Commissioner Rob Manfred without having to say a single word.
- I told Nick when he got there that he should imagine that Rob Manfred's face was on the baseball. And the next pitch, he lit it up over the fence, baby.
HANNAH KEYSER: What's happening there is, he had been suspended earlier in the season for his aggressiveness towards Cardinals pitcher Jake Woodford that set off a benches-clearing brawl as there's a drive to left field by Castellanos, and that'll be a home run.
Our last outfielder, Kyle Schwarber. It's about time MLB banned hamstrings because baseball players just cannot be trusted to take care of them. And Schwarber's own hamstring injury will actually keep him out of playing in Denver, but he will still be there to put a bow on a span of eight months in which he went from being non-tendered by the Cubs to having the kind of month that can only be compared to peak PED-era Barry Bonds and Sammy Sosa.
And now, pitching but also DH.
- What?
- Damn!
HANNAH KEYSER: We need a chance to talk about how definitively Jacob deGrom has established himself as baseball's best pitcher. Like, he needs to take his sub-1 ERA to Denver's perilously thin air, which is to say, no. So we're going to snub him here at bandwagon HQ. I know. Only picking one pitcher was actually really tough. To focus on someone else who's already gotten an entire episode worth of adoration, if Shohei Ohtani could pull a triple threat at the actual All-Star, pitching, hitting, and appearing in the home derby, I think we have no choice but to make him my pitcher and DH, boom, like an All-Star.
It's the first time in history, real MLB edition, not just Bandwagon, that a player was selected as both a position player and a pitcher for the Midsummer Classic. So it is time for an Ohtani stands alone take.
See, he spent the first half of this season garnering, we haven't seen this in a century-style cops to Babe Ruth. But I'm here to tell you that I think that's actually underselling how special Ohtani really is, if he can keep this up. I think we're missing what's so important about his performance if we focus exclusively on different combinations of stats and how they compared the Babe, who, for the record, never hit 60 home runs in a year that he also pitched. Put that out there.
- Oh, snap.
HANNAH KEYSER: Ohtani's value to baseball is his ability to transcend the sport, and to change the future popularity and perception of the game on a global level. See, it's not about the past, it's about the potential. And I can't wait to see it all continue to unfold next week in Denver.
- Shohei!
- He's got wheels, too.
HANNAH KEYSER: One problem with trying to fix the Olympics is, where do you even start? There's some real serious issues with the centuries-old institution and the way that countries often betray the better interests of their citizens to cater to it. We're not going to talk about those right now. So instead, let me try to sell you on a wholesale overhaul of how the games are structured that doesn't actually solve anything, but I do think it would be fun.
So, each country should have to build an Olympic team with a fixed number of athletes who can then compete in as many different events as they want. So let's say each team has 50 people. Those roster spots can be allocated specifically to dominate certain sports, or spread across as many types of sports as possible, or my personal favorite hypothetical, athletes can try to double up on events.
See, it's great that USA can dominate in basketball, but can LeBron learn to row before 2024? Those long limbs have got to be good for some sort of leverage. And is there anything Simone Biles can't do? Literally, let's find out. Her midair acrobatics should serve her well jumping off a diving board. Speed skater and soon to be Olympic infielder Eddie Alvarez is already pioneering the multi-sport Olympian space, which just goes to show that it can be done.
And they all have four years to prep, and four years in which the machinations of building the best cross-sport Olympic team would be a continuous and compelling narrative. In this scenario, there's a centralized coaching staff, and think about how much fun it would be to debate those decisions in the lead up to the games.
See, the Olympics are a sport. And as a sport, they like to keep score. And on a global scale, that score is measured in medals, which doesn't make any sense given the massive disparity in country contingents. Beyond that, the whole idea of a bunch of super specific, unrelated sports taking place together once every four years in a celebration that's simultaneously about globalism and jingoism is just sort of weird in retro.
And I know there are people who care about each of these sports, individually, all the time. And that's great. But the Olympics are so successful precisely because they're so effective at putting these incredible lower profile athletic pursuits on a slick international stage. All those sports already have individual championships. Forcing them together for a few weeks every four years should provide its own cohesive spectacle with meaningful, ranked results.
Giving the games a throughline, the athletes crossover appeal, and centering the strategy in establishing a patriotic dominance, just amplifies what the Olympics are already good at.
Alternatively, we could also just stop spending so much public money on single-use stadiums, but that one sort of explains itself.
- Pay for your own stadiums! Woo!
HANNAH KEYSER: This is, hopefully, goodbye to the guest room studio, because maybe it's time we're back, we'll be back in our actual studio. I don't know if I'm allowed to say that, but that's what-- I'm not saying [BLEEP] ever again. You've got to put pressure on people, you've got to create expectations, and then they'll rise to meet them.
I am sad to be taking a few weeks off Bandwagon, but very excited to be hitting the road and actually talking to athletes in person again. So yeah, stay tuned to see how that all turns out.
