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3 years after Trevor Hamlyn disappeared, his mother lives 'a daily nightmare'

Trevor Hamlyn was 33 when he disappeared on June 16, 2018. (Trevor Hamlyn/Facebook - image credit)
Trevor Hamlyn was 33 when he disappeared on June 16, 2018. (Trevor Hamlyn/Facebook - image credit)
Trevor Hamlyn/Facebook
Trevor Hamlyn/Facebook

The third anniversary of the last time she saw her son has come and gone, but Michelle Hamlyn says she holds out hope he will be one day be found.

"It's a daily nightmare. You don't get through a day without thinking about it. There's just an empty space in your heart," she said.

Trevor Hamlyn was last seen at his home in Paradise, just outside St. John's, on the afternoon of June 16, 2018. Police and family searches turned up little — an old iPhone, some video — and while the police investigation remains active, there's been no breakthroughs as to why he disappeared without a trace.

As another year passes, his mother said she felt it was time for her to shoulder some of the media burden, borne mostly by her daughter Ashley, of keeping the case in the public eye.

Michelle Hamlyn said the toll of people approaching her in public to ask about Trevor wore her down in the months and years since. Even as she speaks about it now, the pain of the first phone call informing her of his disappearance remains etched and undiminished in her mind.

"I shut down. It was not believable," she said.

"How do a 33-year-old, who was so in the public eye, on Facebook, disappear without a trace?"

Trevor would have been 36 on May 24, and Michelle Hamlyn said the time around the twin markers of his birthday and the date of his disappearance always bring about new tips. The family has spoken out of their frustrations with the pace of the police investigation, and while they still feel stymied, she said police have followed up on new leads.

"The truth is, as time goes on, it's not getting any easier. It's getting tougher to deal with, 'cause we're still looking and searching and not getting the responses that we had hoped for," she said.

Krissy Holmes/CBC
Krissy Holmes/CBC

Ashley Hamlyn said she's certain there are things the police aren't able to share with the family about Trevor.

"It's very personal. The fact that we don't know anything and we're not kept in the loop, it's definitely hurtful," she said.

With the Royal Newfoundland Constabulary's investigation continuing, police continue to ask anyone to contact them with any tips, no matter how small they might seem.

"What may seem insignificant points could be very valuable to creating timelines, or supporting other points we've come across," Const. James Cadigan.

Cadigan said police have put out that Trevor had a bottle of Jameson whiskey and a Big 8 ginger ale, and they're looking for those items.

"We want people to keep an eye on those two pieces, together, in a particular area, whether it's on a trail or otherwise," he said.

Mementoes

As the wait continues, his family keeps Trevor in the forefront of their minds. Ashley and Michelle occasionally wear one of his sweaters; a Christmas family photo of him graces a kitchen wall.

He was likable, had a lot of friends, and often went by the nickname "Pepsi." One of his friends keeps a missing persons poster in their back windshield to this day, said Michelle, who saw it recently and was momentarily buoyed that there are others out there also holding out hope.

In the abyss of the unknown, Trevor's family has formulated theories as to what happened. Ashley believes he has died, but even if that is the case, having it confirmed would be a relief.

"We don't care what happened or why or any of that anymore; we just want to know where he is," she said.

The past three years have changed both of them, with Michelle saying she'll never be the same again. Ashley said she's become more guarded and less trusting — and thinks someone is holding out information that could bring valuable closure to the family.

"I don't have a doubt in my mind, they just haven't come forward," she said.

"And I don't know if they ever will, but I hope they do, because our family's broken until that time comes."

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