How a 46-day hike across Finland changed my life

It was 5pm. I’d been walking for eight hours and had covered a distance of 25 miles. I’d not spoken a word to anyone all day, my only company being the odd reindeer and an unwelcome swarm of mosquitos that seemed intent on following me. The day before was exactly the same.

In fact, I spent 46 days like this as I walked the whole length of Finland from the Arctic north to the capital, Helsinki, in the south, covering a distance of nearly 1,000 miles.

Before I set off, I hadn’t considered what I would go through mentally. “I’d go mad spending that much time on my own,” they said. “Will you not get bored of yourself?” they asked.

The weeks that were spent in the Lapland wilderness only really thinking about putting one foot in front of the other for hours every day, with very little stimulation or entertainment, turned my brain to blissful mush.

I’d pass hours comparing differing shades of green tree leaves and was continually amazed by the design of spiders’ webs. I followed puffs of clouds as they passed overhead. I had so little to think about and so much time, my thoughts flowed freely and unhindered. I imagined my future, over-analysed my past and grew ideas I hadn’t had the head space to create in a previously busy life.

Gone was the day-to-day hassle of making decisions. I was no longer a slave to relentless emails and didn’t have to contend with the jostling armies of people on the London Underground – I didn’t have to contend with people at all.

I hardly ever checked the time – I had nowhere to be – and the 24-hour daylight meant time was irrelevant anyway. I ate when I was hungry and stopped to make camp when I was tired. I didn’t look in a mirror for weeks and washed as I was born in the lakes and rivers.

Instead of judging myself by my appearance and feedback from others, I judged myself by how I was feeling and, perhaps unsurprisingly, because of this, my self-worth grew. In Finland, the things I valued and needed were simpler. Nothing felt particularly important.

I also had big lows replaying break-ups and mistakes I’d made, and thinking of people I missed. I couldn’t hide from my insecurities. No one was around to reassure or distract me, I had to dig myself out of my black holes.

I also experienced big highs and huge satisfaction from my achievements, such as lighting my own fires and tracking my progress across the country. I learnt that I could depend on myself, and my confidence grew immensely.

When I met my parents at the finish in Helsinki, I felt as though, over the past 46 days, I’d freed myself of many insecurities I’d been dragging around for years. It was a feeling of pride that emanated.

I was the only person that had got myself through this and what I had learnt about myself meant I liked myself a lot more. Back in London, I realised a little bit of discomfort from blisters, body aches, feeling cold or being wet was a good thing.

It changed my life. I operate on a different scale now. I’m much more patient and tolerant than I was before my trip, and my threshold for discomfort has increased, as has my resilience.

The concept of mindfulness has been around for a few years now, a growing trend as more of us struggle with being overworked and overstressed. But travel is starting to catch on in a different way, and offering more than just week-long meditation retreats in plush surroundings.

Instead, a new trend is on the rise – transformative travel. For 2020, travel companies such as Black Tomato are offering holidays that intentionally make you stretch, learn and grow into new ways of being and engaging with the world.

As I found from my time in Finland, an adventurous trip can be an unexpected catalyst for change, or simply an opportunity to question or connect with yourself. Perfect for those looking for more than your standard holiday in the sun.

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