Olympic skateboarder Alana Smith on mental health, chosen family and being nonbinary: 'I just felt like I was in the middle'

The Unwind is Yahoo Life’s well-being series in which experts, influencers and celebrities share their approaches to wellness and mental health, from self-care rituals to setting healthy boundaries to the mantras that keep them afloat.

When skateboarding made its Olympic debut in Tokyo this year, one of its American team members, Alana Smith, made further history — by becoming the first nonbinary athlete to compete at the Olympic Games.

Smith was one of 16 members of the U.S. skateboarding team, and while the 21-year-old wound up placing last in their event, they expressed sheer joy over having simply been involved in the competition. "I feel happy to be alive and feel like I'm meant to be here for possibly the first time in an extremely long time. On or off day, I walked out of this happy and alive… That’s all I have ever asked for,” Smith shared in a celebratory Instagram post in July.

It was no small declaration, as the Los Angeles athlete had previously spoken out about how issues with gender identity, family trauma and other mental health struggles had led them to a suicide attempt.

And it seems the climb out of darkness has continued for Smith, who has landed a spot in a new campaign with corporate- and athletic-coaching company Exos and is focusing on being a skating mentor after temporarily relocating to Texas, where they want to create "safe-space skate sessions to just let humans be themselves and feel comfortable," all while stepping more fully and openly into their nonbinary identity.

Here, Smith talks with Yahoo Life about how they see gender, how they stay mentally healthy and just what it felt like to compete on the world’s biggest sports stage.

What do you remember about the first time you ever stepped on a skateboard?

I was around 7. I had a couple of friends in the neighborhood who had their own boards, so I just kinda hopped on, messed around. It took a while to convince my bio parents to get me a skateboard but when I finally did, it was hard to get me away from it. And it's just been a part of my life ever since. It's part of me. [The love] was instant … just the feeling of skating and progressing, especially in the beginning, when everything feels so quick and so new and so exciting.

And how has it felt to be there for skateboarding’s big moment, becoming Olympics-official for the first time ever?

It's been a wild ride, especially getting into it so young, and that I first I came to [competing] when I was 12 years old … just the wrap-around moment of how really far skateboarding has brought me in life, and how much it's really saved me through everything. The Olympics was kind of like my turning point in figuring out myself as a human, and just growing into the adult that I am.

So, this was a weird year to be at the Olympics, with no people in the stands. What was it like?

It was crazy. I mean, I was really just trying to live in the moment at the Olympics, really trying to experience everything. We were talking to some of the other athletes about how previous Olympics have been, and they're like, yeah, nothing like this! But I hope maybe eventually I'll be able to go to one of the ones in the future, even just to see what it's like. But it was a blast, honestly.

Congratulations on the Exos campaign. What would you like people to know about your relationship with this global coaching company?

It was just a really cool opportunity to be a part of the campaign — especially after the Olympics, and how much they helped me with my training, and just how great the crew is over there. I would work with the nutritionist, and I had some stuff going on with my ankle … a really bad ankle sprain at the beginning of the year, so I was working with the PTs, just building my strength up, getting myself ready, making sure I was healthy, happy, feeling good and confident.

You’ve been really open about your own struggles with mental health, including family issues involving addiction, and even your own suicide attempts. Why have you chosen to be so open about such tough, personal issues?

I just try to be as open as possible, because growing up, I didn't really have any representation that I really felt connected to. And I really am just trying to be [that] representation for the people that need it, because there are so many people going through similar things — the exact same, for the most part. And I just want them to know that nobody's alone. Like, I want everybody to know that they're not alone … and that, if you love something enough, and you put your mind to it and you really work as hard as you humanly can, that anything's possible … Skating has quite literally saved me countless amounts of times. And I just want to give that feeling to people … help them find what they love [that can help them] keep on going and realize that they're meant to be here.

Where did you find that support? And what tools besides skateboarding have helped you with your mental health?

I think it's been a mixture of a lot of different things. But I have such an incredible support system around me. I got emancipated when I was 17, and my incredible partner and her whole family really kind of took me in. And they're the people that I call my true fans and my family. They love me so much and I care about them so much. And I have an incredible family when it comes to just skaters that I've grown up with over years and years; they have truly been my rocks … just being around really solid people, because life is way too short to waste the love and energy and time that you have on the wrong people.

So, you mentioned "bio parents" earlier. You broke away from your biological mom when you were emancipated, correct?

Yes. I’m close with my biological dad, and I have three younger siblings that I love so much. It's more or less my biological mother that I do not talk to. She's suffered from heavy addiction, and there was a lot of mental, physical and just emotional abuse. We do not communicate, which is fine. It was my choice.

Have you relied on therapy for support as well?

Therapy's been a really big part of my journey. As a habit, I really try to at least make sure I have a few things that I really love and which I've noticed have helped me a lot. Therapy was a really big one, and it's something that I recommend — even if you're not necessarily, like, feeling down, but just need somebody to talk to that isn't a part of your life and has a different perspective on things. I think as humans, we don't realize how much we bottle up. Another thing that has been huge for me is working out … So, skating, working out, messing around with my style. Those are all things that have helped me a lot.

What does it mean to you to identify as nonbinary?

I just have always been somebody who has never really felt like they're on either side of the spectrum when it comes to my gender expression. I just felt like I was in the middle. Like, I have more feminine days, I have more masculine days. I am somebody who is definitely more masculine presenting … but I've never really loved feeling like I needed to pick one or the other, because I'd never really felt like it was me.

You had your pronouns on your skateboard at the Olympics, which you held up for the world to see. Why has such visibility been important to you?

I honestly knew, going into the Olympics … I was probably going to get misgendered, and I wanted to make it as visible as possible that the pronouns that I was going to get misgendered with aren’t my pronouns. And I just wanted to really show and validate everybody else who has gone through the same struggles, because trying to find yourself is such a hard journey to really go through. I wanted to make sure that all the other humans felt validated, because there isn't necessarily a place or platform for us to be our authentic selves when it comes to competing, I wanted to really bring an honest point of view of that, and show that we deserve to have a spot.

So even though you expected it, how did it feel when Olympics announcers did misgender you?

I think, because I expected it, it was more just the typical, “I'm not mad, I'm disappointed,” parent talk. It felt like an interesting moment, because especially when you think of something like the Olympics, or just big broadcasting companies — when you have a job that is quite literally to talk about the people that are competing, you would assume that they would do research on the people that they're going to be announcing. And I always made it very obvious going into the Olympics … whether it's on social media or just if I wear my pins. So, I was just disappointed because I felt like people really didn't do the research that [we] deserve. And that even comes with humans that are cis … like an official sometimes just mispronounces names … It's really just as simple as asking, like, “Hey, I don't really know how to pronounce your name, how do I pronounce it?”

What are your thoughts on so many young kids these days identifying as nonbinary, or using various non-gendered pronouns?

My biggest thing is I tell people not to rush with labels — especially when you start so young, because it is becoming such a more normalized thing, which is incredible. Like, a million percent, try on the hat, so you see which ones fit. Because that was honestly how I figured out my own pronouns. Like, something felt missing about me that I couldn't figure out. I was really struggling with it. So, it got to a point to where I just asked my girlfriend, “Hey, can we try using these pronouns? Because I feel like it might fit me.” And sometimes it takes just testing things out here and there. But don't rush the labels, especially when you're starting to figure yourself out. It kind of hinders you from learning more about yourself. So, just always be open and always be patient with yourself, because it takes time.

This interview has been edited for clarity and length.

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