Blind date: ‘I asked if he could grow a proper beard’

·3 min read

Tony on Kieran

What were you hoping for?
The romcom fantasy – the restaurant bursts into spontaneous song kind. More realistically, someone with a pulse who can look beyond the fact that a professional hasn’t touched my hair all year.

First impressions?
Very friendly and engaging from the get-go, which set the tone nicely.

What did you talk about?
Obviously, the big C word. He works for the NHS, so I was lapping up the inside scoop. Also, the enthusiasm of American tourists, and how memes give us a lifeline in testing times.

Any awkward moments?
I managed to order an absolute fireball of a cocktail that I meekly sipped throughout the meal. I think I styled it out, but my inner saboteur screamed that I looked like a prat.

Good table manners?
Impeccable.

Best thing about Kieran?
He’s a self-described chatterbox. He kept the conversation flowing and dived into just about everything.

Would you introduce him to your friends?
Yes. You could drop him anywhere and he’d get on very well.

Describe Kieran in three words
Chatty, engaging, open.

Related: Blind date: ‘Awkward moment? The temperature gun check’

What do you think he made of you?
I definitely put out the disclaimer I’d been in all-day online training, so hopefully he thought less “the lights were on, but nobody was home” and more “he’s an active listener”.

Did you go on somewhere?
He happened to know a pub a mere 190 metres away, which was ideal.

If it weren’t for social distancing, would you have kissed?
It’s a no from me. There was laughter in the air, but love (or something less dramatic)? I don’t think so.

If you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be?
I’d have ordered a different cocktail.

Marks out of 10?
8.

Would you meet again?
Likely not, although I’d hover to say a quick hello in the street, if we passed.

Kieran on Tony

What were you hoping for?
To meet someone new (and a non-scathing review in the Guyliner).

First impressions?
Full head of hair – how novel! He’s smiling. Flawless skin.

What did you talk about?
Prof Denise Welch, working from home, Covid (how uplifting), me sweating profusely in PPE, Twitter gays, museums, bottomless brunches (shudder), me without a beard/him with a beard.

Any awkward moments?
I did ask if he could grow a “proper” beard. Cringe.

Good table manners?
He let me choose the shared starters. I say “let” – I mean, I told him I was a sharer and we were sharing starters.

Best thing about Tony?
He guessed I was 31! He was so easy to chat to, laid-back and very friendly.

Would you introduce him to your friends?
Yes. They’d love him. He’d hate them (they are truly hideous).

Describe Tony in three words
A good egg.

What do you think he made of you?
Talkative, friendly… How is this man still single?

Did you go on somewhere?
Round the corner for a post-10pm pint. (Oh, remember the days!)

If it weren’t for social distancing, would you have kissed?
Nah, there was no mutual attraction.

If you could change one thing about the evening, what would it be?
It would have been nice if there had been some attraction, but I still had a really nice evening.

Marks out of 10?
A solid 7. Great company but sadly no flutters.

Would you meet again?
We didn’t swap numbers, but if I’m cycling through south London and see him, I’ll shout something obscene.

• Kieran and Tony are at Kahani, London SW1. They were photographed separately for this image. Fancy a blind date? Email blind.date@theguardian.com