Kyra Sedgwick’s secret to healthy marriage to Kevin Bacon: ‘Sex is important’

Kathleen Perricone
Celebrity Broods

Kyra Sedgwick and Kevin Bacon have been married for 23 years, which even by non-Hollywood standards is quite an impressive feat. And the secret to their longevity is pretty simple: "I'm going to embarrass my kids — sex is important," the "Closer" actress tells Redbook in its April issue. "Sex is really important. That desire is there." Luckily for Sedgwick, 46, it's not hard to muster the desire for her hunky husband. Even all these years, she says "the essence" of what she finds most attractive about him "hasn't really changed. When he walks into a room, I'm still … I mean, my heart gets a little fluttery and I think, 'Oh! He's so cute. He's so hot.' That's literally the first thing I think. You can ask people on the set — it's palpable. He's still a mystery to me. And getting older together is scary and exciting."

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The relationship is not without its challenges though. In 2008, Sedgwick and Bacon lost millions of dollars when they became victims of Bernie Madoff's Ponzi scheme and their entire nest egg was gone. "I was angry [when it happened], but I'm a grown-up," she says. "There are so many people in this country who have been more betrayed than we were. We gave our money to a mentally ill person. We're responsible for that. It's not our fault, I don't blame us, but we're responsible … At the time, it felt personal because we'd worked really, really hard for that money — especially Kevin, who has been working since he was 17 in New York — and it was mostly his money, because I hadn't made a lot. So that was our pension."

Sedgwick and Bacon also had to weather the difficulty of keeping their marriage intact while working and living on opposite coasts of the country. While she filmed "The Closer" in Los Angeles, he stayed behind in New York City to care for their two children, Travis and Sosie, now 23 and 20 respectively. The time apart "was heartbreaking," she tells Redbook. "I missed stuff — events, performances — but we kept trusting that it was going to be ok." The time apart also affected her relationship with her children, but not necessarily in a negative way. "It became more special when we were together," says the actress. "Maybe they appreciated me more because I wasn't around all the time? And I wasn't in their business every freaking second — because I am controlling, for sure."

But now the Sedgwick-Bacon family will go back to the way it was because after six seasons, she has decided to walk away from her mega-successful TNT drama series — even though it's at the height of its success. Why did she do it? "I never wanted to be unhappy about going to work," says Sedgwick, who has won an Emmy and Golden Globe for her portrayal of no-nonsense police chief Brenda Leigh Johnson. "I never wanted to be like, 'Ugh, I have to solve another murder.' Originally, I thought it was irresponsible to leave, because of the Madoff thing — I thought I should do another season." But at the urging of her husband, Sedgwick realized her desire to leave the show. "One night Kevin and I were talking about it, and he must have sensed my ambivalence, because he said, 'What about, just for tonight, you decide that don't want to do another year?' And I realized that I felt so responsible for everybody else — people count on you for employment." But after she role-played for the night about no longer being on the show, "it felt so right to me," she adds. "Really, it's about wanting to do other things creatively." And for Sedgwick, that's returning to a film career. "But honestly, it's okay to breathe a bit," she says. "I have just been working so hard. I want to wait for the right thing."