FBI’s 2,800-word glossary of Internet slang is just a little sad

There's no argument here that the FBI has a difficult job: As its methods improve, so do those of the criminals. That extends to knowing how people are staying in touch, particularly over text messages as that becomes a more frequently used form of communication.

So it should come as no surprise that the FBI has its own glossary of netspeak and text messaging terms to which its employees can refer. What is a little more surprising is that it is 83 pages long, contains 3,000 words, and seems like it would be better suited to decoding AIM or ICQ messages than modern texts.

The Washington Post discovered that as part of a recent Freedom of Information Information request, the FBI has released this document to MuckRock, a collaborative news site focused on transparency in politics, (PDF available here), titled Twitter Speak. The document covers more than just Twitter, however, as the intro to the document explains that it is to help agents and employees understand Internet shorthand used on "instant messages, Facebook and Myspace."

...Myspace?

A brief look through the document and you can see that the Myspace reference isn't the only outdated term used. In fact, the Post did a quick survey of how often certain terms on the FBI's list actually appeared on Twitter, and discovered that some of the phrases were downright bizarre:

AYFKMWTS - "are you f------ kidding me with this s---?" - 990 tweets

BFFLTDDUP - "best friends for life until death do us part" - "414 tweets

DILLIGAD - "does it look like I give a damn?" - 289 tweets

GIWIST - "gee, I wish I said that" - 56 tweets

HCDAJFU - "he could do a job for us" - 25 tweets

Interestingly, the acronyms included on the list seem to go beyond Internet-speak, including items like "KD" for Kraft Dinner, and "SKU" for stock keeping unit. Evidently, FBI agents have never worked retail and don't appreciate the miracle that is near-instant macaroni and cheese.

Of course, it's pretty safely assumed that many of the terms are included to make sure they cover all their bases, and would make sense in context, or if the person encountering the term had ever interacted with someone under 30 years old.

In the meantime, I'm going to sit here and LOL at the thought of people actually using the acronym WYLABOCTGWTR ("would you like a bowl of cream to go with that remark?") in their conversations online.

Tax dollars FTW.