Jose David Diaz-Marrero was recently sentenced to eight years in prison. Diaz-Marrero would be the gentleman in the middle.
According to the Ocala Star-Banner, the 20-year-old had been accused of perpetrating a string of burglaries between December 2010 and January 2011.
But the sentence reflects more than your simple garden-variety break-and-enter.
Because the laptop, jewelry, 42-inch screen TV and DVD player stolen from Holli Tencza's home can ultimately be replaced.
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The ashes belonging to her late father and two deceased Great Danes cannot.
And not just because Diaz-Marrero and his two accomplices also stole the urns in which the ashes were contained.
Rather, they cannot be returned in their entirety because the trio mistook the urns' contents for "crushed pills" and reportedly proceeded to smoke and snort them.
In fact, Diaz-Marrero and his friends weren't quite sure what they had ended up consuming until they read a story about it in the Star-Banner.
The article also noted that Tencza's two beloved dogs, Epic and Samson, were shot and killed by a neighbour who "felt threatened by them".
Though police later found the, er, remaining remains of her father and one of the dogs in a nearby lake, the second dog's remains were never recovered.
For reasons not explained, the ashes ended up in an area home and were discarded by the homeowner who mistakenly believed the ashes were a "plastic bag of concrete mix."
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Diaz-Marrero expressed his remorse in court on Friday, but will still have to serve an additional six years' probation pending his release from jail. He has also been ordered by the court to pay Tencza $9,000 in restitution.
The lengthy sentence should leave him with plenty of time to put that remorse in his pipe and smoke it.