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Florida man vows to marry his porn-filled computer to protest gay marriage

"If you love your computer so much, why don’t you marry it?"

Chris Sevier, of Florida, doesn’t see the problem with that notion.

The self-described “former judge advocate and combat veteran” feels that he should be allowed to marry his Apple computer.

He claims he has ‘fallen in love’ with the Apple device and prefers it over all other persons or objects.

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“Recently I purchased an Apple computer. The computer was sold to me without filters to block out pornography. I was not provided with any warning by Apple that pornography was highly addictive and could alter my reward cycle by the manufacturer,” Sevier wrote in a 24-page-long lawsuit filing with the state of Florida.

According to the CBC, Sevier’s reasons for wanting to marry his computer stem from a case that challenged Florida’s refusal to recognize same-sex marriages out of state. He believes that if gay people have the right to marry their object of sexual desire (even if they don’t have the corresponding, er, ‘equipment’), than he should have the right to marry his preferred sexual object.

The judge does not agree with Sevier’s rebuttal.

“Perhaps the motion is satirical. Or perhaps it is only removed from reality. Either way, the motion has no place in this lawsuit,” wrote Judge Robert Hinkle on Sevier’s motion to marry his computer.

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Sevier believes he is part of a “minority sexual orientation group” and has filed a motion to intervene in an ongoing gay marriage case.

We get his point. He wants to be able to marry whomever he pleases. But can someone inform him that he is trying to marry a computer?!

Clearly, Sevier is just not seeing the argument here. Many have argued he is just trolling the legal system because he disagrees with gay marriage. Fine. Everyone has the right to his or her own opinions. Many voiced their own on Twitter after hearing about Sevier’s protest.

You’re more than welcome to be angry that the legal system allows gays to marry, Mr. Sevier, but you’re failing to prove your point.

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