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‘Most demanding 1st birthday invite ever’: a lesson in what not do

Bossy parents

So you’re little one is about to celebrate his/her first birthday. You don’t want a lot of gifts for your tyke, just a handful of reasonably priced interactive toys you’ve already sourced out.

So, how to you express your wishes to birthday party guests?

Not like this!

The “most demanding 1st birthday invite ever” has quickly gone going viral.

The detailed — read: bossy — birthday wish-list instructions were posted to Reddit four days ago by Reddit user razz32, whose coworker received the invite.

In the letter — sent out in advance of a more “formal invite” — the parents of an unnamed one-year-old request four specific gifts for their child, to be given by grandparents and aunts and uncles only, at a maximum of two gifts per household.

“If you are unable to get these items, please let us know so that we can buy them right away for him,” they wrote.

While the very specific list certainly takes the fun out of toy-store shopping, the worst is still yet to come.

“If you choose to get [name redacted] something that isn’t on this list, anytime regardless of birthdays or holidays, please be sure to always include a receipt going forward. When we return items without receipts, we only get about 50% of the value, so it is like throwing money away if you don’t include a receipt with the gifts. With formula costing us $80 a week, it is always nice to be able to return items that he doesn’t need to get formula instead,” they wrote.

“We would suggest no more books beyond the one Cheerios cited above. Right now, [name redacted] has 32 board books on his shelf, and 25 additional books waiting for him in storage once he is 3+ years of age. (And at this point, he hates when we try reading to him.)”

The parents even used guilt to keep the personalized gifts at bay:

“Please refrain from any personalized gifts that would be used outside of the house. Clothing with names is the #1 thing that leads to kidnapping, so we don’t need to broadcast [name redacted] name on clothing or toys.”

Read the entire letter here.

“They know the baby isn’t going to be kidnapped — they are too neurotic to let it out of their sight,” wrote Reddit user blessyoursweetheart. “Personalized items can’t be sold to baby resale shops — so that super cute high end sweater that grandma decided to embroider the child’s name on it has almost no resale value.”

Before anyone started defending the parents’ requests, Razz32 was quick to clarify: “Anyways…from what I understand these people have a very significant income for those of you thinking they are strapped for cash.”

And what would Razz32 bring to a party with such specific demands?

“Personalized books with no receipt.”

Well [passive-aggressively] played.

Of course, Redditors couldn’t resist having some fun with the over-the-top letter.

Reddit user Ftumsh wrote out a detailed “cordial invitation to Little Timmy’s birthday party,” a formally worded contractual agreement that included birthday-party parking fees, mandatory gift receipts and behaviour expectations for young attendees.

So, how should parents communicate their gift wishes for their child’s birthday party?

“My friends said they didn’t want any gifts at their second son’s first birthday. They already have a three year old with heaps of toys, a shelf stuffed with books. They said if you felt the need to bring anything they are always in need of wipes. Super easy, super reasonable. This isn’t hard, people!” wrote Reddit user Hayasaka-chan.