Slow as maple syrup: Canada ranks 54th in global Internet upload speeds

Those who qualify for the program will pay $9.99 a month for internet speeds of up to 3 megabits per second. That is about half the speed of Rogers's lowest advertised tier of internet service, which costs $41.49 per month.

Isn’t it just the worst when you’re trying to upload your latest selfie and it’s taking a lifetime? You watch that bar on your screen attempt, at a snail's pace, to fill up, all in hopes of a pop-up congratulating you on your successful upload.

Well, you may like to know that you are not the ridiculously impatient person you think you are.

Canada: The truth is, we are slow (or at least, our Internet is).

It likely comes as no surprise that Canada is far from the top of the list of countries with the fastest upload speeds. According to a report from Ookla, a company that crowdsources data on Internet connections, Canada is ranked 54th in the world. That's right, residents in 54 countries have Internet speeds faster than any Canadian does. We rank just below Kenya, and just above Mexico.

Even the mighty ‘Merica doesn’t come close to first place for fastest upload speeds. At 6.6 Mbps, they rank in at a whopping 42nd. Which country ranked first? That would be the high-tech mecca of Hong Kong.

Tech blogger Peter Nowak created a Canadian map showing the average upload speeds by province, compared to the average upload speeds of various countries, to give Canadians a relative idea of the upload speed of their province. Ontario’s upload speeds are about the same as Bangladesh's.

“In the remote parts of northern Canada, poor upload speeds essentially mean that business simply isn’t happening on the internet,” Nowak writes.

Even though the Harper government announced that new funding is in the budget for expansion of broadband in Canada’s north and rural areas, a new report says that it’s hundreds of millions of dollars short of what’s actually needed to get them connected.

Hey people of Nunavut, hope you like that slow, agonizing pain of dial-up. You’re going to have to get used to it for a long, long time.

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