Spray-on pants and glass-bottomed planes: The best of April Fools’ Day

Though it’s still early in the day, this year’s “best of” April Fools' Day list has already racked up some strong contenders.

These overachievers have pulled out all the stops this year to amuse the wise and fool the, er, less wise (did any of your Facebook friends post the Scope bacon mouthwash link with earnest excitement? Yeah, mine too. It’s why we’re friends.)

So in honour of everyone’s favourite day after Halloween, here’s a roundup of the top April Fools' gags of 2013 thus far.

Google Nose Beta: You can just imagine the creative geniuses at Google sitting around their free lunch in a cafeteria way nicer than yours and brainstorming April Fools Day jokes. They did good this year. A video released on March 29 (see: overachiever) introduces Google Nose Beta, a subsection of the search engine goliath that allows users the option to smell their internet queries. “By intersecting photons with infrasound waves, Google Nose Beta temporarily aligns molecules to emulate a particular scent,” the narrator of their product release video explains. What does a ghost smell like, you’ve always wondered? Google Nose. They’ve even set up a mock site at google.com/nose for curious nostrils. Their introductory scent? Success. As in: what this April Fools' joke smells like.

Virgin Atlantic Glass-Bottomed Plane: Oh, to see the world from this angle. Virgin Atlantic announced that they’d perfected the technology to install an acrophobe’s worst nightmare: a clear view of the earth from 30,000 feet in the air while you’re strapped to little more than a coach bus seat in a fast-moving metal tube. “The new aircraft will offer every passenger the chance of a bird's eye view with an extra special opportunity to look down on the beautiful scenery of Great Britain as they fly,” the company announced. Mr. Branson, please consider this in real life.

Sony Animalia: Your children already cling to their tiny screens like surrogate parents, so why not also turn your domestic animals into technology-dependent zombies? It’s only fair. Don’t you love them enough? Good. Sony announced its plans to unveil a line of products aimed specifically at mammals without opposable thumbs. Standouts include the Hamster Workout, a multi-speakered apparatus that speeds up or slows down the music depending on Scooter’s wheel-running pace. Whatever budget went into the slick promo video was worth it alone for the yuppie hamster setup with a special mention to whoever thought up the mini carrot and celery bowls from Urban Barn.

American Eagle Spray-On Jeans: It was only a matter of time before pants could not get any tighter and it appears that this the year when that finally occurred. But fashion is an entity that solely exists to take everything from good to “fabulous,” so to combat this fabric deficit, American Eagle Outfitters launched their spray-on jeans, which are essentially your legs painted in denim colour. “If jeggings are too baggy, these are perfect,” a fake saleslady intones in their promo video. While funny right now on April 1, 2013, expect to see this legitimately in stores by May 1, 2013. Most popular colour: Blue Steel.

Crowdfunding the National Debt: President Obama announced his plans to hand the national deficit over to the generous folks on the internet who like to hand their money over toward random causes. “My fellow Americans,” he writes. “Despite the best efforts of my administration, prolonged partisan debates in Congress are preventing us from a solution to our mounting national debt. Instead of bickering over taxes, we’re taking a new approach: asking everyday Americans to chip in so we can pay off our debt once and for all. With your help, it’s time to act. HELP PAY OFF our NATIONAL DEBT.” Not an April Fools' Day joke: this post has caused thousands of “Obama is an evil socialist” conspiracy theorists across the U.S. to spontaneously combust.

The Cats are Coming: As I am not just the president of Team Cat but also a client, this roundup would not be complete without mentioning the inspired minds that used felines in their April Fools' offerings. And while YouTube still reigns as the video sharing site supreme (at least until this afternoon), I will be moving all my views over to Vimeo as soon as they make Vimeow, their all-cat, all-the-time streaming channel, a reality.

Grumpy Cat’s parents also became a little bit richer today thanks to a blog post from the U.S. Military announcing its imminent feline unit. “The 3d U.S. Infantry Regiment (The Old Guard), is doing its part to cut down on military spending with the implementation of a new cutting-edge program which will use military working cats to work alongside military police,” reads the “official” press release.

“Officials hope to capitalize on cats' olfactory and hearing prowess. While most people think of dogs as having sharp senses, cats actually have more acute senses.” It’s true. You don’t want to mess with these killing machines.

Your move, dog lovers.