UK school bans triangular flapjacks after food fight

It took a tragedy for a UK school to realize that its cafeteria was putting students in imminent danger. Danger from triangular flapjacks.

Three corners can turn this British oat bar into a deadly weapon, as students at Castle View School in Canvey Island, Essex clearly learned before they began launching them around the lunch room, according to the BBC.

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When a flapjack hit one student in the face, staff decided the most pertinent question in this case was how the shape and texture of the snack might have contributed to injury, instead of why students were using flapjacks like snowballs.

After a review, the school decided to ban triangular flapjacks, serving only the square or rectangular variety, according to the public broadcaster.

Fact: the best decisions are made as a result of food fights.

In a joke that certainly won't be repeated by every news outlet that covers this story, a spokesperson for the Health and Safety Executive told the BBC the decision was "half-baked."

"This one takes the biscuit," he said.

I'm taking the school's side; the world is much safer with four-cornered flapjacks. Consider that when a BBC reporter asked locals what they thought, at least one of them suggested schools should lock up the dangerous flapjacks to keep them out of children's reach.

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It's possible there was some sarcasm in that statement. But are we really prepared to take that chance?