The Daily BuzzWinston Churchill tops poll of history’s funniest insults
A British poll on history's funniest insults has put one of Winston Churchill's many snarling witticisms at the top of a biting list of jabs.
So the story goes, a female MP once criticized the former prime minister for drinking too much. "Winston, you are drunk, and what's more you are disgustingly drunk," said either Bessie Braddock or Lady Astor, according to different versions of the widely spun tale.
"My dear, you are ugly, and what’s more, you are disgustingly ugly. But tomorrow I shall be sober and you will still be disgustingly ugly," Churchill is said to have responded.
The wording of Churchill's top quote varies by source, and some doubt he ever said it at all. Some of his other insults are better documented, including his description of political opponent Clement Attlee as "a modest man who has much to be modest about," and "a sheep in sheep's clothing."
Churchill's response was number one in the poll of 2,000 Britons, commissioned upon the DVD release of the film Behind the Candelabra, about another witty fellow, Liberace, according to the Daily Express.
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A quote from Liberace appears third on the list, as reported by the Daily Express.
1. Winston Churchill to Lady Astor: “I may be drunk, Miss, but in the morning I will be sober and you will still be ugly.”
2. Barack Obama (in response to Sarah Palin’s joke that the only difference between a pitbull and a [hockey] mum was lipstick) “You can put lipstick on a pig… it’s still a pig.” [One of Barack Obama's senior advisers has said this comment was not about Sarah Palin.]
3. Liberace to a critic: “Thank you for your very amusing review. After reading it… I laughed all the way to the bank.”
4. Noel Gallagher on Robbie Williams: “You mean that fat dancer from Take That?”
5. Winston Churchill (on being disturbed in his toilet after a call from the Lord Privy Seal): “Tell him I can only deal with one s**t at a time.”
6. Frank Sinatra on Robert Redford: “Well at least he has found his true love – what a pity he can’t marry himself.”
7. Elizabeth Taylor: “Some of my best leading men have been dogs and horses.”
8. Groucho Marx: “She got her good looks from her father. He’s a plastic surgeon.”
9. Bette Midler on Princess Anne: “She loves nature, in spite of what it did to her.” [Midler's quote is elsewhere attributed to American actor Forrest Tucker.]
10. Liam Gallagher on Victoria Beckham: “She can’t even chew gum and walk in a straight line, let alone write a book.”
Canadians have their share of historical insults as well, especially during vicious debates in the House of Commons. Former MP Darrel Stinson called Jean Charest a "fat little, chubby little sucker" in 1997, a year that also saw MP Deborah Grey referred to as "a slab of bacon."
And of course, though it lacked a certain eloquence, Pierre Elliot Trudeau's famous "fuddle duddle" moment in the House of Commons marks a milestone in high-profile Canadian insults.
