New York City comedian live tweets couple’s breakup
A New York City comedian turned a public breakup into a voyeuristic form of entertainment for the online masses this weekend.
Kyle Ayers, a writer who runs a comedy show in Brooklyn among other work, according to his website, began what became a Twitter routine on Saturday night with a post that said a couple was breaking up on the roof of his apartment building. Too bad, but when such things happen, it's necessary to publicly repeat every snapping insult and snarling retort. And so he did, using the hashtag #roofbreakup.
If these tweets are accurate, there were many problems in this relationship, from commitment and trust issues to poor wardrobe choices. The woman, Rachel, probably did not get a live-in boyfriend that night, and the man, Mr. Smoker, probably did not get any pizza.
[ Related: Woman takes out ad at gas station to dump boyfriend ]
The best quote from this ordeal might be from the master of evading questions, known here as "guy":
"I'm not talking about love on a rooftop in Brooklyn."
Please be warned, breakups — this one included — contain strong language.
A couple is breaking up on my roof right now. I was just trying to enjoy the view. Now I will live tweet the breakup. #roofbreakup
— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
"I'm not looking for marriage, just what's right below marriage" -girl #roofbreakup — Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
"Your roommates are fucking assholes" -guy #roofbreakup
— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
"Don't let me live with them then!" -girl #roofbreakup — Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
"NOT ON THE ROOF" -guy #roofbreakup
— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
"You never let me talk!" -both #roofbreakup — Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
"I can't be with some who is so ugh what ugh stop" -girl #roofbreakup
— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
"Everyone told me New York wasn't for me." -guy #roofbreakup — Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
"You're so cruel sometimes!" -girl #roofbreakup
— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
"ITS A TEXT FROM MY COWORKER. A WORK TEXT" -guy #roofbreakup — Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
"Let me read it then, give me the phone" -girl #roofbreakup
— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
"You don't need to see my phone to trust me" -guy #roofbreakup — Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
"I just sometimes want to hang out with my friends and my not you friends" -guy #roofbreakup
— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
:cannot understand: -girl #roofbreakup — Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
"I don't want a baby or anything. Not yet!" -girl #roofbreakup
— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
"Ok so those were the only times I lied to you. Right? We can agree on that?" -guy #roofbreak — Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
"Say something else about my fucking wardrobe" -guy #roofbreakup
— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
"Do you see yourself living with me within a year?" -girl #roofbreakup — Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
"I can't think in terms of like, time and shit, Rachel." -guy #roofbreakup
— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
"You think I'm immature? Calling people immature is immature!" -guy #roofbreakup — Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
"I guess I'm the only one who doesn't realize how awesome you are." -girl #roofbreakup
— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
"Stop shivering." -guy #roofbreakup — Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
"My roommates are always like 'wheres your boyfriend?' And I'm like 'hmm' and stuff." -girl #roofbreakup
— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
This guy is four cigs deep right now. #roofbreakup #teamrachel — Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
"Just tell me what you want but don't make it something fucking gay" -guy #roofbreakup
— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
"Are we going to live together?" -girl #roofbreakup — Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
"Yeah but what is, like, living together? Like what's an apartment mean? You know what I'm saying?" -guy #roofbreakup
— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
"Seriously?" -both, a lot #roofbreakup — Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
"Do you love me?" -girl (OH BOY HERE WE GO, PEOPLE) #roofbreakup
— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
"Look I'm not a guy who's into labels, Rachel. You knew that getting in." -guy #roofbreakup — Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
"Answer a fucking question." -girl #roofbreakup
— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
"I don't think we need to talk about this up here with some random guy over there." -guy (uh oh, I'm that guy over here) #roofbreak — Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
"He's just sitting on his fucking phone he doesn't care (talking about me). Answer my question." -girl (hahahahahahaha) #roofbreakup
— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
Lights another cig. -guy #roofbreakup — Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
"I'm not talking about love on a roof in Brooklyn." -guy #roofbreakup
— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
Head in hands. Awaits answer about love. -girl #roofbreakup — Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
Guy's phone just blew up with texts. He immediately silenced it. Glares exchanged. #roofbreakup
— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
"I can't do this. You're a waste of my time." -girl #roofbreakup — Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
"Are we getting pizza or what? I don't mean to change the subject but are we?" -guy #roofbreakup
— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
"Why don't you get pizza with 'someone from work texts?'" -girl (holy shit good burn right there) #roofbreakup — Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
"Stop" -guy #roofbreakup
— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
"Seriously this is embarrassing, I'm done" -girl #roofbreakup — Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
RACHEL IS WALKING AWAY #roofbreakup
— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
"So what does this mean?" -guy #roofbreakup — Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
"It means fucking whatever fuck I'm tired." -girl #roofbreakup
— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
Rachel disappears around the corner into the stairwell. Guy takes a puff of his cigarette and turns to the manhattan skyline. #roofbreakup — Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
Rachel is gone. Guy pulls out his phone and starts texting. #roofbreakup
— Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013
Looks like everything is done here. Thanks for following along #roofbreakup. — Kyle Ayers (@kyleayers) November 17, 2013