Canada will be safe from zombie invasion, Baird assures House of Commons

Zombies not welcome in Canada: John Baird

When asked a question about Canada's preparedness in the event of a zombie attack, Foreign Affairs Minister John Baird assured Canadians the government will never let the country become a "safe haven for zombies."


Canada’s government is working at full speed these days, as highlighted by Foreign Affairs Minister John Baird's assurance that the country is being kept safe from a possible zombie invasion.

Cue record scratch. Pardon me?

Yes, apparently we have nothing to fear from a zombie invasion. Baird made the assurance after being questioned on the topic in the House of Commons by NDP MP Pat Martin.

Baird said, according to Postmedia News:

Mr. Speaker, I want to assure this member and all Canadians that I am dedicated to ensuring that this never happens. I want to say categorically to this member and through him to all Canadians that under the leadership of this Prime Minister, Canada will never become a safe haven for zombies ever.

And while the topic is entirely out of the ordinary, it may not be entirely out of the blue.

The Canadian Press reported yesterday that Quebec's public security department discussed how to handle a zombie apocalypse during an industry symposium.

[ Related: Hansard records arrival of zombie politics on Parliament Hill ]

The entirely hypothetical (or is it?) topic of a zombie invasion has actually become a fairly common debate for disaster response groups. It allows for a discussion about emergency practices without straying too closely to an actual emergency scenario.It also captures the attention of the public.

British Columbia held a Zombie Preparedness Week to test its emergency equipment last year.

[ Related: TV station in Montana warns of attacking zombies ]

And the United State's Center for Disease Control decided to maintain its site on zombie awareness after the end of its tongue-in-cheek campaign last year.

"If you are generally well equipped to deal with a zombie apocalypse you will be prepared for a hurricane, pandemic, earthquake, or terrorist attack," director Dr. Ali Khan said.

Yes, it is heady days for zombie aficionados, in and out of parliament. It’s good to know the government is on top of the threat.

You may find it interesting that this is not the first time the topic of zombies has been brought up in the House of Commons. A quick scan through OpenParliament.ca finds that zombies — the colloquial name for hacked computers — were the topic of conversation during a recent Fighting Internet and Wireless Spam Act debate.

Not quite as salacious, though, is it?