As the last days of Movember wind down, proud men across the country are peering into their mirrors with a heart-wrenching decision: Does it stay, or does it go?
The first impulse, for those who'd never proudly brandished a soup-strainer in the past, is to reach for the clippers. But you've spent all month growing and grooming it into a nice, bushy bristler. Why not just keep it?
A lot of guys have moustaches. Many celebrities who have established full careers based on their moustaches, and even more who saw their IMDB-meter rise when sporting a cookie-duster.
So why not take a cue from them? Embrace the possibilities!
Will Ferrell: Let's face it, Ferrell was nothing more than a bit player on Saturday Night Live until he dressed up his upper lip in The Anchorman. This moustache made Ferrell an instant "manly-man" and the target of a multitude of swooning San Diegans. If you have Ron Burgundy's moustache, keep it.
Ron Jeremy, on the other hand, is a definite "don't." If you look in the mirror and see a washed-up porn star looking back at you, shave immediately. In fact, you should have shaved three weeks ago. To hell with Movember.
Tom Selleck: Seriously, does it get any cooler than Magnum, P.I.? In a word: No frigging way. Selleck's never seen without his 'stache ... probably because he'd look like Elmer Fudd without it. Instead, he's the picture of masculinity and charm. If you've got Tom Selleck's moustache, keep it. And tell all the women in your life: "You're welcome."
Freddie Mercury: The lead singer of Queen initially grew his moustache to cover up a fairly embarrassing overbite. It's something to consider ... do you have an unflattering facial feature you'd like to cover up? If so, then jump in, my friend! If not .... well, you could do better than Freddie's moustache. Shave it off.
Paul Teutul: There's more to the star of American Choppers than an awesome moustache: There's a foul-mouthed, angry bike-builder who's alienated his grown-up sons. OK, maybe the moustache is his most endearing feature. If you've got a full Teutul and you ride a chopper and have a great nickname like Skull or Knuckles, keep it. If not, remove it.
Michael Jordan: For some inexplicable reason, Michael Jordan tried to bring the Hitler moustache back a few years ago in a Hanes commercial. Needless to say, it didn't work out too well. If you're considering this look, think again. If a style icon like Jordan can't pull it off, you definitely can't. Shave. Immediately.
Burt Reynolds: Aside from The Longest Yard, all of Reynolds' movies B.S. (Before 'Stache) were artsy crap. Once the moustache appeared, however, it was a different story. We're talking Smokey and the Bandit, The Cannonball Run, The Best Little Whorehouse in Texas ... all glorified tales of men being men. If you find that you're looking like this flashy character, keep the moustache. And buy a Trans Am immediately.
See, it can be done. You too could get a career boost from keeping that 'stache. Give it some thought before you reach for the clippers.