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Stephen Colbert warns Iceland not to adopt Canadian loonie

Faux right-wing TV commentator Stephen Colbert took aim at Canada, one of his favourite mockery targets, on his show Tuesday over Iceland considering adoption of the loonie to replace its valueless currency.

The purchasing power of Iceland's krona melted like a late spring snowfall in Reykjavik after its major banks were caught in the 2008 banking crisis.

There's some support among citizens of the North Atlantic island nation for adopting the Canadian dollar as an alternative instead of the wobbly euro or the U.S. greenback.

That had Colbert seething with ersatz outrage.

"The U.S. dollar remains the global currency standard. You can use it all over the world from buying sushi in Tokyo to prostitutes in Cartagena. There are no challengers to America's currency domination, until now," Colbert said, according to the Toronto Star.

"Everyone knows George Washington should be the only icon recognized by the world's market. Not Canada's first president, Featherford Beloon (as the screen showed an image of the iconic loonie)."

Colbert, who often needles Canadians for being overly level-headed and sinisterly polite, said this is "just the beginning of Canada's currency coup."

He's worried America's youth might be seduced by the Royal Canadian Mint's upcoming new quarter, which features a glow-in-the-dark dinosaur.

"Folks, Canada's coming after our young people," Colbert warned.

"What do you think they're going to prefer: a glow-in-the-dark dino quarter or this green rectangle?," referring to the U.S. buck.

"Nation, we must fight this before we lose a generation of young Americans to the scourge of Canadian politeness and fiscal sanity."

Colbert twisted the rubber knife on Twitter: "I didn't know Canada even had currency. I always thought they bartered with beaver teeth and moose dewlaps."

(Wrong, Stephen, my friend. It's Molson empties and Timmy's roll-up-the-rim prize cups.)

"As for you, Canada, you keep your dinosaurs where they belong — liquefied in your tarsands and pumped directly into our gas tanks."

Iceland's government said late last month adopting the loonie was not on the table.

Colbert has nailed "poutine-sucking, healthcare-addicted" Canadians before. He dropped in on the 2010 Winter Olympics in Vancouver after dubbing Canadians "iceholes" and "syrup suckers" as part of his trash-talking support for the U.S. speed-skating team.