Can you believe it's been two months since "The Bachelor Canada" appeared on our televisions like a glorious beacon of melodrama? Can you believe that 23 women have been eliminated and that only two remain? Can you believe that Whitney is still a contender? Bachelor Brad Smith can't, or at least that's what we can deduce from his confusion throughout the episode.
And so the tone is set. As Bianka and Whitney gear up to meet his family in Hudson, Quebec, fans anxiously wait to see who Brad will choose. But enough prolonging the inevitable -- let the wild rose rumpus start!
- First up to meet the Smith family? Whitney, who's nervous, especially since the last time she saw Brad, she interrupted Kara's exit to try and talk to him about feelings. It's what Brad wanted, after all. "Be open!" he had requested. Girl just gave him what he asked for. + 4 roses
- But it's not what Brad wanted! Now he's worried that he's made Whitney impulsive, and he feels responsible for making her too open. He just wants her to act natural, which she agrees to, while assuring him that she's there for the right reasons. According to Brad, this bump in the road has just made them stronger. According to us, there are a lot of red flags. - 2 roses, + 2 declarations of "really?"
- Their next step is to go golfing. Unfortunately for Whitney, she doesn't succeed perfectly at first, so instead of laughing off her mistakes, she has a mini temper tantrum, says she wants to throw her gloves, and gets her pout on. Adulthood! Might this be the "effortless chemistry" Brad was describing when reminding viewers why he likes her? - 4 roses
- And to Casa de Smith they arrive. Despite the gut feeling that something is going to go wrong, Brad introduces Whitney to his sister, Ashley, her husband, their sons, his mom, dad, and best friend, and the gang sits down to what Ashley later describes as "the most uncomfortable family dinner ever." + 1 rose, + 3 worried looks
- Sitting down, we learn that Mama Smith -- named Leesa -- is a self-described "tough critic," so it makes sense when she begins to grill Whitney about her feelings for Brad, and about the special thing about him that Whitney is attracted to. Cue: silence -- the same response Whitney gives when Ashley's husband asks what the most challenging part of their relationship is. (Doesn't he know? Her silence answers him perfectly.) - 3 roses
- That's when Brad answers for Whitney, only to get called out by Ashley, who tells him to stop and to let Whitney speak. To the camera, Brad says Whitney is "crashing," which is why he feels protective of her. His family hates that this is happening -- so much so that Ashley asks Whitney why she would even sign up for the show if she's so closed off and guarded. Valid point. + 2 roses, + 2 doses of common sense
- Leesa believes Whitney is nervous being surrounded by everyone, so she and Ashley approach her in the kitchen, where they ask Whitney why she's nervous or why she's letting Brad speak for her. They're met with more stammers and silence, and anyone watching can tell that Ashley has officially eliminated Whitney as anyone she wants in the Smith family. Sympathy for Whitney is at an all-time high, as flashbacks from high school cafeteria confrontations. - 5 roses, + 1 painful flashback
- The next day, Brad gears up for his date with Bianka, whom, he admits, he's really falling for. The problem? He's not sure how she feels about him. But not to worry: they're going to eat steamed hotdogs, and break only to kiss in between bites. And if that's not a sign, no one knows what is. + 2 roses
- It's family dinner round two! Though unlike Whitney, Bianka brings beer and greets everybody with hugs. However, Leesa's worried that Brad's going to get hurt, so the begins to grill: does Bianka see in Brad what Brad sees in her? Bianka answers flawlessly. According to Ashley, this signals that she's too polished, so she attempts to find a flaw in yet another kitchen confrontation. Too bad, Ashley, because Bianka leaves being ruled "charming and lovely." + 3 roses
- Afterwards, Bianka makes an official admission: she loves Brad, and -- gasp! -- Brad loves her back...ish. ("I'm falling for you, too.") But how can he feel this way for Bianka if he also has feelings for Whitney? Only a trip to Barbados will help him figure that out. - 2 roses
- But first, he most confer with the family. Surprise, they don't like Whitney, and they don't like who Brad becomes when he's around her. This is when he realizes he is two different people around both Whitney and Bianka -- and now he's even more confused. - 2 roses, + oh dears
- What will help him decide is a one-on-one game of polo with Bianka, who he needs to see being athletic and/or adaptable because he is a self-proclaimed "active guy." Thank heavens, she is, and Brad admits he never gets frustrated with her thanks to their "good teamwork and communication." Communication so good that Bianka begins to cry when she talks about how much she loves him. Apparently, she's never been so sure about anything in her life. + 3 roses
- Meanwhile, Whitney shows up to her date with Brad dressed similarly, as they run into each other's arms, kiss, hug, and say "I've missed you!" However, as their evening progresses, another discussion about Whitney's feelings -- or lack thereof -- ensues, leading to Whitney's tears and accusations that Brad gets defensive during their talks. Unfortunately, they are on a boat, so they are literally trapped in this intense situation. - 4 roses, + 2 yachts
- Evidently, the date only got worse. Which is why the next day Brad shows up to Whitney's room to tell her he's tired of dragging her along, and that he's made up his mind. Well too bad, Brad -- Whitney has something to say first, and when he won't let her speak, she locks herself in the bathroom, escaping only to tell him to respect her and to walk out of the house. "Oh my God!" Brad proclaims, seconds before going after her. Stop, Mr. Smith! According to Whitney, how you're acting isn't fair to her, and true, they shared amazing things, but she wants him to go now because "that's it." It's over. Classic "it's not you, it's me." She doesn't want to marry him -- and she also has no regrets. + 5 roses
- The next morning, Brad admits there's never been a choice not to be with Bianka (minus the choice he was going to have to make if Whitney still stuck around), and that he's ready to be with her for life. So much so that he begins picking out engagement rings while laughing about not knowing if she even liked him six weeks before. Bianka shows up to meet Brad in a white dress, and he gets down on one knee and proposes. They weep, they hug, they're engaged. + 2 roses, + 2 "congratulations, but it's only been two months?"
- That's when viewers are given the gift of a Bryan Adams-soundtracked montage of the two in various states of relationship: their first meeting, their soccer game in Mexico, the time they kissed on the beach, and so on. "How are you a real person?" Brad asks Bianka. "It's just meant to be, baby," she responds. And Bryan Adams plays on. + 2 roses, + 6 more Bryan Adams songs
But it's not over yet! Next week "The Bachelor Canada" wraps up with the official "After the Final Rose" special, in which host Tyler Harcott will sit down with Brad and Bianka to talk about what's next for them. One more week! So until then, friends, roses for everyone.