A ‘Friends’ reunion? Why it’s just never going to happen

The Internet went into a tizzy Tuesday night when the circulation of a Photoshopped poster implied that a "Friends" reunion was planned for 2014. However, series co-creator Martha Kauffman has officially gone on the record and stated that despite the demand, viewers will never see a "Friends" reunion happen.

"I'm going to clear this up right now -- no, it's not happening!" she told E! News. "'Friends' was about that time in your life when your friends are your family, and once you have a family, there's no need anymore."

Well that's pretty bleak. Though she has her reasons.

"I'd rather people go, 'Oh, please! Please!' than 'I can't believe you did that. It was horrible," Kauffman continued.

OK, fine -- we get the concept of leaving audiences wanting more, and not wanting to leave. So while the demand for a "Friends" reunion (whether through a TV special or a full-out movie) is understood, it's important to appreciate Kauffman's stance that she and the other creators want to keep the series' legacy untarnished. That's why we've drawn up five other reasons why a "Friends" reunion will never, ever happen -- even if Kauffman began singing a different tune.

1. There's no real reason for them to reconvene
Sure, such a tight-knit group would likely see each other for Thanksgiving or Christmas, but so what? What makes a holiday in 2014 so special that it warrants checking in with the posse? It doesn't. We've already watched Phoebe have kids, Rachel and Ross have kids, and Monica and Chandler adopt. And while Joey might have a hypothetical family, "Joey" still happened -- and that amount of Joey goes a long way.

Frankly, the only big "event" to see them get together for is a funeral. And let's be honest: nobody wants to go there (we hope).

2. TV reunions are always anti-climatic
Yes, there are always exceptions to the rule, but for the most part, the reunion of a beloved cast on anything other than a talk show feels a little empty. The exception? Casts who haven't been seen together for 20+ years: "Mary Tyler Moore" on the upcoming "Hot In Cleveland," "Night Court" on "30 Rock," and the upcoming "Girl Meets World." Though in "Girl Meets World," there's at least a whole new cast of characters to keep the premise fresh.

3. The actors themselves have moved on
The "Friends" cast is unique in that none of them have actually clung to their "Friends" roles. Lisa Kudrow has appeared on several series, Jennifer Aniston is a movie star, Matt LeBlanc won a Golden Globe last year for "Episodes," Matthew Perry stars in "Go On," and Courteney Cox has made "Cougar Town" a relative success. Sure, David Schwimmer's kept a lower profile, but he's be no means hawking "Friends" merchandise in an attempt to stay in the limelight.

4. Everything was tied up perfectly
Remember how great it was when everyone wanted one last cup of coffee before moving to the suburbs, to France, and to Los Angeles? Do you really want anything other than that mental image coming to mind when you think of how "Friends" ended? Of course not. It was sublime, and it was heartbreaking. Watching an attempt to recreate that would seem blasphemous. Not to mention, after 20 years, those character don't need to reconvene in a coffee shop -- they can treat themselves to a fancy dinner party.

5. "Friends" doesn't work in 2013
"Friends," no matter how brilliant, was indicative of a very different time. A time in which waitressing would still allow for a massive apartment, and when "figuring it out" in New York City didn't mean splitting a bachelor apartment with four people and still only eating beans. "Friends," with its high-waisted jeans, layered hair, and Chandler's mystery job is drenched in nostalgia. And while nostalgia is popular, it doesn't hold up in an era where 20-somethings are working for free and/or still living with their parents.

That said, we'd really like to see what Ross's monkey is up to now.

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