We’re just two weeks from the end of the NFL season, and believe it or not, the candidates for Yahoo’s Sorry Six are narrowing. Why? Because losing alone isn’t enough to make the Sorry Six. No, you’ve got to lose with style. You’ve got to lose when you’re expected to win. You’ve got to lose in a way that makes your fans cringe and turn away. You’ve got to play like, say, a former San Diego team. Here, let’s run down the whole list:
1. Los Angeles Chargers: Want to know how to vault yourself right to the top of the Sorry Six? This is prime, artisanal, grade-A Sorry Six material: you’re carrying momentum, playing a flailing division rival for supremacy late in the season, and you get blown out by three possessions. Mmm-mmm! That’s good sorriness.
2. Seattle Seahawks: If you have access to a time machine, go back to August and bet everyone you can on who the winner would be in a Rams-Seahawks game with a score of 42-7. And then come back to December with your untold riches and give us our cut.
3. Miami Dolphins: Like the nerd who summons enough strength to lay one good punch on the bully, the Dolphins followed up last week’s brilliant takedown of the Patriots with yet another chump-out, this time against Buffalo. Great work, guys.
4. Cincinnati Bengals: Is Marvin Lewis leaving or staying at the end of the year? Who knows? What we do know is that the rest of this team has already checked out, as last week’s 34-7 loss to Minnesota proved.
5. Pittsburgh Steelers: Look, we don’t feel great about putting the Steelers in this spot, since they were one controversial call away from winning the blockbuster game against the Patriots. But when the moment gets big, you’ve got to make the right decision—and Ben Roethlisberger didn’t. As a result, the road to the Super Bowl goes through Foxborough instead of Pittsburgh.
6. And finally, a special Sorry Six berth for the NFL and its referees. Between index cards, catch-or-no-catch, and touchdowns-turned-touchbacks, it was a rough week for the men in black and white. The NFL says it likes the drama that comes with officiating-related incidents, but come on: that’s the same garbage rationalization the NCAA used to use to try to justify the lack of a playoff in football. And we see what happened there. NFL, remember: the refs aren’t the show.
That’ll do it for this week. Congrats to everyone who made the list, and even more congrats to those who didn’t. Enjoy Week 16, everyone!