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Compassion fatigue is not just for emergency workers, says St. John's counsellor

Compassion fatigue is not just for emergency workers, says St. John's counsellor

Compassion fatigue — it's the kind of emotional exhaustion we expect to see in police officers, paramedics, nurses and social workers.

But could it affect the server at a restaurant who waits on a grieving customer? Or a bartender who bends their ear for patrons on a nightly basis?

Tracy Duffy has a master's degree in education with a specification in counselling psychology and works as a counsellor with Coastline Consultants in St. John's.

She met with St. John's Morning Show host Jamie Fitzpatrick in a busy coffee shop to discuss these questions.

Would you say even the person who sells me my coffee in the morning might be at risk of compassion fatigue?

Absolutely.

Anyone who serves the public in a way that they are expected to maybe have that welcoming smile or to have some empathy or be open to the public are at risk for compassion fatigue.

Compassion fatigue is the cost of caring. So it may be front-line retail staff, it may be service workers, or it may also be people who take care of loved ones.

Is exhaustion the same as compassion fatigue? Does it go deeper than just being tired at the end of the day?

For sure. I think compassion fatigue has such a range of symptoms.

So the key aspects of compassion fatigue is sort of that erosion of empathy you feel in other aspects of life. You're not just overwhelmed and need a couple days off but you may also have a lack of empathy for your family and your friends. It's chronic, unresolved fatigue.

In our society, we have a lack of connection and a lack of good communication. So all these venues are places for people who may feel socially isolated.

They go there maybe to socialize and to feel that welcome. But the worker — they're not going into their day job expecting a really in-depth conversation that may affect them.

So compassion fatigue could be a risk for my hairdresser, or for the clerk at motor vehicle registration …

Or a taxi driver. Hairdressers are notorious. I often joke with my hairdresser that maybe she could be my counsellor sometimes.

You're vulnerable, you let it out and you tell them whatever. So are they expecting this level of disclosure and stress?

What are some of the strategies that you tell people to use?

When we talk about remedies, sometimes it's just being aware that everyone is doing their job. They're doing it for a reason and dealing with life the same as the rest.

Eat well, go for a walk, make sure you get lots of sleep, but that's a lot easier said than done.

Be aware [and think], "Can I take a minute for a break if I have an irate customer?" I think our management and supervisors need to be aware that people need that one-minute or two-minute break.

Also at home, learning to leave work at work.

Work is work, and my life is outside of that. Because unfortunately we're all replaceable when it comes to work, but we're not replaceable in life.

Note: This interview has been edited and condensed for clarity.