This culinary monstrosity is now available at Maple Leafs games

If the jaw-dropping, speedy, offensive brand of hockey that the Toronto Maple Leafs have been playing this season hasn’t been enough to give fans at home games a heart attack, this should get the job done.

The people at Hometown Dogs are selling a little something that they call ‘The King Dog’ at Leafs games this season and it’s quite something to lay your eyes upon.

I’ve gone through such a whirlwind of emotions while writing this article and staring at that photo. At first, I was completely disgusted by it. There’s just too much going on and my brain couldn’t comprehend that insane combination of meats, cheese, pasta and vegetables. Then, after some consideration, that disgust became curiosity. A little later, curiosity morphed into desire.

At the end of the day, I’ve come to the conclusion that ‘The King Dog’ is a simple math equation. Hot dogs are yummy. Macaroni and cheese is delicious. Peppered bacon on anything is awesome. And, finally, pico de gallo is tasty.

Yummy + delicious + awesome + tasty = culinary genius.

How can something made up of so many things not taste good when all put together?

The number of years that this delicacy will likely take off your life is another story. However, maybe the fat and grease that oozes from ‘The King Dog’ could be used to clog up the Leafs’ defensive zone instead of people’s arteries.

Yes, Toronto entered Thursday’s night atop the NHL standings thanks to a ridiculous average of 4.71 goals per game. Yet, their 3.29 goals against had them sitting in the bottom third of the league.

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