A Farewell To Garms: What Do Clothes Even Mean In The Time Of Coronavirus?
Aside from the fact that I’m not leaving the house so no one can even witness the epic fits I’m pulling off err’damn day (If you brick a fit and no one is around to see it, did you even get dressed?), it feels odd to even talk about clothes in this turbulent and gloomy time.
But this is my weekly style column, so here goes.
I won’t bore you with the details, but I had to empty and leave my flat pretty much overnight last week. And in light of this o’erhanging pandemic I put aside a bag of garms that would cover me for a few weeks while I bunkered down. Looking now at the contents of that bag, it’s interesting to see what made the cut and what didn’t. What I deemed essential and what I was happy to leave packed in a box for, potentially, months.
Fashion wonks such as myself talk often about essentials; the grey, white and navy scaffolding on which one can build a wardrobe of more elaborate, statement-making, feature enhancing clobber. The stuff you wear on top of the essentials, essentially. (Poignantly, essentials are bigger than ever – just look at Dior’s take on the concept, or Virgil Abloh’s ‘Staples’at Louis Vuitton.) To allow for maximum adaptability in the onrushing dark ages, it would be wise to take all the Uniqlo merino knits, Sunspel crew neck tees and Common Projects trainers I could muster. Which I pretty much did, save for a few key pieces for the armageddon season ahead.
Patagonia Synchilla Fleece
Nothing can rival the flex of Patagucci. It tells people that you love the outdoors and the planet in general, but you also see value in branding. And despite all the tech bros and climbing wall peacocks doing their utmost to make it lame, Patagonia has persevered. When anarchy reins and a new world order emerges, its leader will wear Patagonia. In fact I suggest the Patagonia management team be offered control of Earth.
YMC Doc Savage Over Shirt
There was no way I was going into Isolation without an over shirt. You can close the pubs, Boris, and you can shutter Pret and poleaxe the Euros. But you will NOT dampen my desire to wear a big, pocketed, cotton shirt over a T-shirt, or maybe even a sweater, if there’s room. YMC’s ‘Doc Savage’ is, I would say, the best on the market. It ticks all the boxes. Roomy, boxy and cut from a garment dyed cotton/linen mix, so it’s tough and will weather and distress in all the right places. (Mine is green, not pink, but I don’t think they make that colour any more.)
Arsenal FC Scarf
I didn’t stop supporting the brave North London lads last season when we suffered our longest winless run since ’92 and I’m certainly not going to stop supporting them now. (The lack of any actual football makes being a football fan much easier, too.) This will also help in the future when I’m about to be bludgeoned by a marauding gang of vigilantes, only for the chief to recognise my team colours and appoint me lieutenant.
Nike Tube Socks
The gold standard of socks. The QE2 of socks. The Absolute Ryan Gosling of socks. I wear them running (once a day is actually a higher frequency than my lardy legs are used to, Boris), and I wear them as part of a slipper combo with Birkenstock EVA Arizonas, which makes me look like a cross between middle class father and a premier league footballer at leisure.
Seiko SKX013
Listen. I’m a menswear guy and therefore I have a LOT of watches, yeah? We’re talking round ones, square ones, plastic ones and metal ones. I’ve got shiny ones and ones where the bit around the face spins and makes a clicking noise, and ones that power themselves. (In the biz we call those ‘automatic’.) So, for the lock down, I strapped on my trusty Seiko which is tough, reliable and handsome – like wearer, like watch amiright?! – and it’s water resistant to 200m so when Earth floods, I’ll know what time I drowned. It’s also fitted with a NATO strap I bought in Tokyo, so it reminds me of a time when international travel didn’t mean certain death. (Seiko don’t make the SKX013 anymore, but the new 5 Sports are pretty similar/sweet.)
66 North Hiking Trousers
I wear these when I go hiking or when I want to feel like a Silicon Valley CEO, so considering my time is now split between my laptop and my one walk a day, I won’t be taking them off. They are stretchy and water repellent and wind resistant and breathable, but they also just look like slim black trousers. That’s basecamp-to-boardroom, bebe. (Bedroom to bathroom to bedroom, bebe.)
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