Are We in the Golden Age of ‘Real Housewives’?
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This week:
The Holy Trinity of Housewives.
Dula Peep comes through.
Gays for Christmas!
A very important photo.
It Is the Golden Age of Real Housewives
It is the most blessed of times for Bravo fans. The Holy Trinity of Real Housewives franchises—New York City, Beverly Hills, and Potomac—are all airing at the same time, the next best thing to a vaccine in these trying times.
It is important to note that the next season of New York might as well take place in rehab, there is not one scene of Denise Richards in Rome that doesn’t make my soul want to crawl out of my skin from discomfort, and that Potomac is absolutely flawless, period. Even the egregiously heterosexual Below Deck: Mediterranean is serving a feast this year. So it goes without saying, it has been a bountiful time for my Once My Boyfriend Who Hates Reality TV Goes to Bed late-night viewing habits.
This is all just an excuse to bring up something that’s been circulating on Twitter among Housewives fans: that, for all of the drama, the best part of any episode—and maybe the shadiest scenes from the editors who leave them in uncut—is when the Housewives are at dinner and order their food.
I honestly don’t know better television than going around the table as women in haute couture at the most expensive restaurant in Rome list off all their substitutions and “allergies” until it’s clear that they basically just ordered the equivalent of the kids’ meal spaghetti plate at Ruby Tuesday’s.
If someone, somewhere would edit all these scenes into a compilation video, I would...well I am not in the position to give them anything, but I would watch it repeatedly.
Dua Lipa Saves Quarantine, Again
Dua Lipa heard all our raves about the masterpiece albums the likes of Taylor Swift, The Chicks, and Fiona Apple have put out during quarantine and was like, “Do not forget that I started this shit.”
After being the artist who saved our lives during the first few weeks of quarantine by being the first to release an entire album of new music, COVID be damned, and have it be floor-to-ceiling bops, Miss Dula Peep is now releasing an album of Future Nostalgia remixes, with Madonna, Missy Elliott, and Gwen Stefani among the guests.
Given the events of recent weeks I’m sure she now probably regrets the involvement of Madonna, but honestly, who among us haven’t at some point regretted the involvement of Madonna.
It’s Christmas, You Gays!
It is the year 2020 and the world is finally ready to admit that gays sometimes fall in love and do, in fact, celebrate Christmas.
I hate that it’s a big deal that Lifetime is finally going to air a Christmas movie with gay leads, but in the world of pop culture there is no more profound validation and symbol of equality than having your story told in a shitty holiday romance movie. It’s called progress.
Behold This Photo
This is a photo of Sharon Stone in a fur hat with a monkey on her shoulder wearing a dress. I will not be providing any context.
What to watch this week:
Immigration Nation: Every American should be required to watch this.
Howard: A beautiful, tragic portrait of the man behind the best Disney songs.
She Dies Tomorrow: I can’t wait for everyone to be obsessed with Amy Seimetz.
Race in America: A Movement Not a Moment: Bravo stars and Real Housewives have a roundtable about race, and it’s shockingly impactful.
What to skip this week:
An American Pickle: Not as fun as it sounds!
The Tax Collector: Exactly as fun as it sounds!
Ellen’s Disappointing Transformation From LGBT Hero to Hollywood Villain
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