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Gritty mercilessly assaults Santa Claus goalies at Flyers game

Don’t be surprised if you this photo of Gritty used as evidence in court. (Twitter//@NHLFlyers)
Don’t be surprised if you this photo of Gritty used as evidence in court. (Twitter//@NHLFlyers)

When will enough be enough?

At first it was cute, but it’s become clear that the hockey world is in denial about the harm that’s created from Gritty’s endless antics.

The mascot for the Philadelphia Flyers, currently in his first season with the team, just continues to spiral out of control. Based on his actions Tuesday night during the first intermission of the Flyers contest against the Detroit Red Wings, he officially has no boundaries.

It was your standard, run-of-the-mill goaltenders-in-Santa-costumes race at the Wells Fargo Center. That’s when Gritty laced ’em up, put on a Santa suit of his own and took his deep-seated hatred of the holidays out on a few puck-stopping Saint Nicks.

(Which was kind of confusing in its own right. The last time I checked, there was only one Santa Claus. When I brought this up with my mother while writing this piece, she told me that was a discussion for another day. Alas, we’ll move on.)

If that isn’t the scariest thing you’ve seen all day, you might need therapy along with that orange, fluffy ball of hate out there. He bodied that first Santa as if he was merely an elf before jetting down the ice. And like a freight train travelling downhill, once that frame got moving there was no stopping it. In fact, Gritty proved he has the kind of north-south speed that would likely make him a great fit on most fourth lines in the modern NHL.

As he flew down the ice, he was possessed. His eyes flew in all directions until he hammered another Santa against the boards. Whatever a younger Gritty didn’t get at Christmas many years ago clearly hasn’t been forgotten.

But he wasn’t done there.

Good luck making the ‘nice’ list after that assault with a festive weapon.

In all seriousness though, he needs to be stopped before he hurts someone outside of the rink’s walls. Unfortunately, I must apologize because there’s no way that I’m the one to do it. As I was investigating this story, there was some joking amongst my co-workers about the mascot while I nervously laughed along. After which, one of them posted the following tweet.

Hilarious, right? I didn’t think so.

Why does the tweet only mention children under the age of 12? Everyone should be scared. If Gritty is willing to savagely violate individuals dressed up as one of the jolliest men in human history, what do you think he’d do to someone like me?

Keep that in mind while trying to fall asleep tonight.

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