When it comes to planning a wedding, how much control should a bride have over her wedding party’s appearance? The internet seems divided in the case of a woman who found herself in a hairy situation months ahead of her sister-in-law’s wedding.
After years of sporting long hair, the woman decided to donate 48 inches of her hair to a charity that creates free wigs for children with cancer and alopecia.
“I’ve been growing my hair for years and got tired of it,” she wrote in a Reddit post seeking advice. “Yesterday, I went from hair down past my butt and had it cut into a short cut, like a pixie… I absolutely love it, the hair stylist said it was perfect for my face shape, my fiancé loves it, it’s been such a confidence booster.”
The celebration of the new look was short-lived. The woman, who is serving as a bridesmaid in the upcoming June wedding, was chastised by the bride-to-be for not asking permission before opting for a bold new look.
“I posted a picture on Instagram today along with a picture of the bundles of hair I sent off to donate,” she said. “I later get a text from her saying I should have asked before I cut all that hair off, as she doesn’t think it’ll match her extremely feminine designs/decorations.”
Although the woman notes that her sister-in-law had previously been “picky and strict” about wedding planning, she was shocked when the bride said she wished the woman had waited a few months to cut her hair, so as not to “stand out” from the rest of the wedding party.
“I literally didn’t know how to respond,” she wrote. “I’ve never been in a wedding before and I’ve never been married, so is this normal? Should I have asked her before making such a dramatic physical appearance change?”
While many were quick to dub the bride a bridezilla, others put the onus on the bridesmaid for not running the change past her sister-in-law.
“You’re completely entitled to whatever look you want, but people are unrealistic to think a bride doesn’t think about the balance of the photos/look of the bridesmaids,” one Reddit user wrote. “If you never mentioned your haircut intention, why would the bride expect you to suddenly cut it after four years?... As someone who has donated huge amounts of hair, you really could have waited the month. In fact, I did just that so I wouldn't throw off the look of my friends wedding.”
Others saw both sides of the situation.
“I've attended several weddings as a bridesmaid and we've always given the bride a heads up as a courtesy if we wanted to do something drastic to our hair. They've all had no issues with it though but I guess a major change from waist length hair to a pixie would've made a big impression especially since you've been rocking that look for years,” a user wrote. “So now your family members will be commenting on your hair rather than the focus being on her.”
The general consensus? Brides need a reality check when it comes to wedding planning.
“Absolutely your choice in how you wear your hair,” one voice of reason said. “Weddings are not about pictures and whether everyone in the wedding party looks the same. Weddings are a celebration of a couple committing to each other. Wedding parties are about having the people you care about support you and stand up for you.”