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Kobe Bryant has died. It’s OK to talk about his rape case

Kobe Bryant adjusts his jersey during an NBA game on 19 February 2012 in Phoenix, Arizona: Getty
Kobe Bryant adjusts his jersey during an NBA game on 19 February 2012 in Phoenix, Arizona: Getty

Kobe Bryant’s death on Sunday was shocking, unexpected and sad. He was too young, too talented and too untouchable to be taken so soon. “I can’t believe this was where his life was headed all along,” I told my husband over the sound of news reports speculating about the cause of the helicopter crash that killed him and eight others.

Just hours after the news of his death broke, the world of music gathered inside the Staples Center in Los Angeles for the Grammys. Alicia Keys, who was hosting the ceremony, called Staples – which is also the home venue for Bryant’s team, the Lakers – “the house that Kobe Bryant built”. The night was dominated by tributes to the NBA legend: from Keys herself, from Boyz II Men, from rapper Lil Nas X, and from countless others. Bryant’s legacy was celebrated, rightly so. His 13-year-old daughter Gianna, a rising basketball star who also died in the helicopter crash, was also in everyone’s thoughts and tributes.

On social media, while tributes kept pouring in, some took time to acknowledge another aspect of Bryant’s life. In 2003, the athlete was charged with felony sexual assault after a 19-year-old woman accused him of raping her at a hotel in Colorado. The case was dismissed the following year after prosecutors said the woman didn’t want to testify in court. Bryant publicly apologised to the woman, stating in part: “Although I truly believe this encounter between us was consensual, I recognise now that she did not and does not view this incident the same way that I did.” A civil case ensued and was settled in 2005 over undisclosed terms.

Among those bringing up the rape case against Bryant this weekend was Washington Post reporter Felicia Sonmez, who has now been placed on administrative leave pending an internal review of her tweets. It remains unclear whether Sonmez was put on leave due to the substance of her tweets or due to a potential issue regarding the name of an email sender. Regardless, Sonmez said she had received thousands of abusive messages, including death threats, for sharing a link to a news story about the case.

This is not OK for many reasons. Obviously, no one should ever be subjected to abuse or death threats. More specifically, no one should ever be subjected to abuse or death threats for acknowledging the complexities of someone’s legacy, no matter how uncomfortable they make us feel.

When it comes to eulogies, it’s tempting to only highlight the positive aspects of someone’s life. And yet, when someone as famous, powerful and influential as Bryant dies, it does us no favour to refuse to consider the very possibility of nuance in our tributes. It’s all a matter of time and place – so let’s take a closer look at these two elements.

First of all, place: it goes without saying that no one was expecting any of the major tributes to Bryant to mention those accusations of rape, and they didn't. But, for better or worse, social media is where we go to discuss all aspects of a major news event, including the more difficult ones. There needs to be room for this conversation to happen somewhere. Several of the people who mentioned the accusations against Bryant did so in a tasteful way, highlighting the need to celebrate his accomplishments while also bearing in mind the darker parts of his life. Some also shared supportive thoughts for the woman who came forward against him all those years ago. There was nothing wrong about any of that.

Then comes the issue of time: sure, I understand that it might seem distasteful to discuss rape allegations in the hours following someone’s death. But if not now, then when? The news cycle moves on quickly these days. There is no way we can start having constructive conversations about sexual assault if we don’t make room for nuance and start painting a realistic picture of who attackers are – not just strangers in dark alleys, but also powerful, sometimes beloved men.

Another tweet concerning Bryant’s legacy caught my attention in the hours after news of his death broke. It came from Slade Sohmer, the executive managing editor of the video platform The Recount, and read: “Years ago Kobe was suspended for calling a ref a f*****g f*g in a heated moment. He didn’t give a weak apology and yell ‘triggered!’ He learned from it. Actually put in work. Worked with GLAAD. Called out his own fan for calling someone gay in his mentions. People can grow.” (Bryant was fined $100,000 by the NBA in 2011 for directing a homophobic slur at a referee. He wasn’t immediately suspended after the incident.)

That tweet is the opposite of a pile-on. Rather, it shows how much more interesting conversations can get when we stop putting people on a pedestal.

Kobe Bryant died on Sunday. He was 41 years old and a father of four children. He was one of the best basketball players the world has ever seen and a hero to many. He was also once accused of rape and caught using a homophobic slur on the court. There is room in our hearts and in our brains to acknowledge it all.