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I laugh maniacally when I orgasm – and my boyfriend can no longer reach climax

I am a 37-year-old woman and have been with my partner for 10 months. My boyfriend and I enjoy an active sex life and we are deeply in love. I don’t see it as a problem, but recently, every time I have an orgasm, I experience manic fits of laughter. I have never experienced this before but, equally I have never orgasmed so hard before, either. My boyfriend finds this amusing, but then struggles to climax, so I think he is baffled by the whole thing. I am worried this will become an issue. What do you advise?

I am glad you do not see this as a problem, and I would simply recommend that you tell your boyfriend that you truly appreciate the orgasms you are having with him, and that the intensity of them seems to have triggered a response that is new for you: spontaneous laughter. Make sure he understands that your mirth is not related to him. There has been very little scientific research into the neurophysiological mechanisms of orgasm. Case studies have reported phenomena just before, during, or after orgasm that include laughing – as well as more distressing symptoms such as crying, itching, drooling, urinating, seizures, headaches and other bodily pain. Medications have helped some of these symptoms. Fortunately for you, though, your symptom is giving you the healthy gifts of sexual pleasure and laughter, both at the same time. Lucky you!

• Pamela Stephenson Connolly is a US-based psychotherapist who specialises in treating sexual disorders.

• If you would like advice from Pamela on sexual matters, send us a brief description of your concerns to private.lives@theguardian.com (please don’t send attachments). Submissions are subject to our terms and conditions: see gu.com/letters-terms.

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