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My life in sex: the 'monogamish' woman

I am a 62-year-old woman, and have been married to my husband for 40 years. We met at college, both studied for PhDs, and now work at the same university. Last Christmas, I had my first experience of sex with six men at once.

My husband first suggested swinging after our children were born, and it took me 10 years to agree. At first, I figured he just wanted to have sex with other women. Then I decided that we should try it to get it out of his system. I didn’t realise how much I’d enjoy having sex with other men; I was instantly hooked.

Almost 20 years later, we don’t consider ourselves to have an open marriage. We have sex with other people, but always together. Rather than being strictly monogamous, we’re “monogamish”.

Back to the six men. At first, the organiser gave me responsibility for “fluffing” guys for another woman (getting them physically ready for her). After a while I asked if I could get more involved, and ended up with six guys, one of whom was 25. Every one of them was gentle and sweet.

More often we have threesomes with another straight guy. Sometimes they are one-night stands; there are other people we see many times, over several years. We occasionally swing with other couples, but it’s hard to find people our age. We hope to maintain this lifestyle for as long as possible. You have to live life to the fullest.

• Each week, a reader tells us about their sex life. Want to share yours? Email sex@theguardian.com. All submissions are published anonymously, and subject to our terms and conditions.

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