Man faces backlash over reason for asking his fiancee to change her name: ‘Why is this still a thing?’

·2 min read

A man is receiving criticism for expecting his future wife to take his last name. 

He asked Reddit’s “Am I the A******” forum for advice. It did not go over well for him. The man wanted his fiancee to take his last name. She refused the request because the paperwork is an enormous hassle. He still fought her on the issue and refused to drop it. 

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“I have been with my fiancee for three and a half years,” he said. “We are very happy together, and I can’t imagine my life without her. But we have had a hard time reconciling this disagreement. We have been talking more and more about marriage recently and what it would look like. For me, part of the significance of marriage is becoming family with each other, and that includes sharing our last name. When I think of being bonded with her in that way, I get really happy and excited, like we are a true pair and the whole world could recognize it. However, she wants to keep her last name as she says it is a hassle to have to change it.” 

He opposed his fiancee’s choice because he didn’t want his family name to die out. 

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“I think that’s fine, but I’m the only guy on my side of the family who could carry my family name,” he explained. “I have two sisters who are married already, so it’s literally just me left. It’s a pretty unique name, not one like Johnson or Smith. So my family name would die out if I don’t carry it and pass it on to our kids. Fiancee doesn’t really care about matching our names and suggested I could change my name to hers so we match, or otherwise, just both keep our own last names after we marry. She has a brother, so her family name would be carried on either way. I feel like it’s different for that reason, and she should compromise with me and change her name.”

Reddit users thought the man’s ideas were a bit outdated.

“No one expects men to change their name, so why should I change mine? Why is this still a thing?” one user asked

“Why are your wants more important than hers?” another commented.

“Your inability to compromise on something this ridiculous does not bode well,” someone said

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