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Mother says troubled son did not get the help he needed

The mother of a teenager who has struggled through a life plagued by behaviour problems, drug use and a run-in with the law says more could have been done by those who specialize in child protective services to help them both.

"He didn't get the care that he needed and we're the ones that are suffering, me and him," the mother of the 17-year-old boy told CBC Radio's Central Morning Show.

Neither can be identified because of privacy laws.

The mother agreed to share their story, hoping that the challenges they have faced will help others, and lead to some changes in the system.

"I think they can do a lot more," she said.

Meanwhile, Child, Youth and Family Services Minister Sandy Collins said changes in child protective measures in this province in recent years, including the establishment of CYFS in 2009, have better prepared the system to deal with such cases.

"A child going through a similar situation, I'm thinking we're in a better place to deal with it today than we were 10 years ago," said Collins.

Problems began early

From an early age, the son was aggressive, impulsive and had poor social skills, the mother explained.

In Grade 2, he was diagnosed with attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) and oppositional defiant disorder (ODD).

He was given medication, but it gave him insomnia. In school he got into fights, was ostracized by other students and referred as "the bad kid."

The mother said she had repeated meetings with school officials, but the situation did not improve. Other family members turned away because of the boy's behaviour, and attempts to enrol him in hockey also failed.

Eventually, officials with child protective services got involved.

As a teenager, the boy's behaviour worsened again. He started damaging walls with a knife, and on one occasion nearly started a fire in the house. He became withdrawn, and his mother suspected he may have become depressed.

He started running away from home, and wouldn't go to school.

Then he turned to illegal drugs.

"I can't tell you how many times I went to the school. I can't tell you how many phone calls there were. How many people I'm after meeting with. I've spent my whole life taking care of my child, keeping him alive, hoping that things are going to change around for him," she said.

Giving up child was the hardest decision

The interventions did not make a difference, the mother said, and she once had to call the police on her son.

She began to fear he might harm himself or someone else.

After one especially harrowing incident, she decided to leave her son at the hospital.

"I made the hardest decision I ever had to make in my life. I had to leave him there ... in order for him to get help," she said.

The boy began living in a group home, but repeatedly ran away.

He would skip school and do drugs, and often went the whole day without eating.

"There were many times I would come home in the evening and he would be waiting on my doorstep, 'Mom, I'm hungry. I needs something to eat. I'm cold.' It was in the middle of the winter."

Child accused mother of abandoning him

The mother said it was eventually decided the best option was to send her son out of the province.

She said he left the day before his 14th birthday, but once again, this failed to curtail his behaviour.

He became involved in gangs, she said, and returned to this province a year and a half later feeling angrier than ever.

He was cutting himself, and blamed his mother for their circumstances, suggesting she had abandoned him.

"He tried living with his father, but that didn't work," she said.

When the boy turned 16, the mother said CYFS no longer considered him a child, and said he was responsible for arranging his own living quarters.

The mother said this was a mistake, and her son began living in a poor area of the community that was rife with drug problems.

Earlier this year, he got in trouble with the law.

Mother hopes son can stay out of trouble

Hoping to start a new life, the mother relocated to another town last year.

The son, who will soon turn 18, later joined her.

He is still struggling, but she hopes he can stay out of trouble.

She wants people to hear her story and hopes other families do not experience a similar circumstance.

As for the interventions used to help her son, the mother believes changes are necessary.

She said it should not be necessary to send children to another province for care, and 16 year-olds should not be able to arrange their own accommodations.

"I think having that support in my home at a younger age was the key," she stated. "Having someone there to help with the behaviour and instruct me as a parent and be there for us. I think that would have helped a lot."

Some services not available

Sandy Collins said it's rare that children are sent to another province for treatment, and only in cases where complex services such as psychiatric or addiction counselling is required.

He estimates that number at between 45 and 55 each year.

Collins said that number is expected to drop now that specialized youth treatment centres have opened in Paradise and Grand Falls-Windsor.

Collins emphasized there is "continuous follow-up" when a child is sent out-of-province.

As for the mother's concerns that her son was allowed to arrange his own housing in a neighbourhood known to have drug problems, Collins said legislation gives the province authority to enact protective measures for young people up to the age of 16.

After that, young people can voluntarily stay in the system up to the age of 21 if they are enrolled in post-secondary education.

If they opt out of the services provided by the department, there is no authority to dictate how any rent subsidies paid to the youth are spent, said Collins.

The minister would not talk specifically about this case, but said he believes many of the deficiencies found in the system years ago have been addressed.

"I'm confident there is good work happening," he said.