Advertisement

Mum has perfect response when daughter calls her fat

A mum has given the best response to being called fat by her daughter [Photo: Instagram/allisonkimmey]
A mum has given the best response to being called fat by her daughter [Photo: Instagram/allisonkimmey]

A mum has given a perfect response to her daughter calling her fat.

Children don’t really have a filter. And that say-what-you-see mentality can make for some pretty awkward moments. But children are only really churning out what they’ve learnt or picked up from their friends in the playground.

So it’s important to properly explain things to them when they do blurt out something potentially hurtful. And we could all learn a thing or two from mum Allison Kimmey who after being described as ‘fat’ by her daughter decided to school her about the difference between being fat and having fat.

“My daughter called me fat today,” the self-help author and body positive parenting blogger wrote in an Instagram post.

“She was upset I made them get out of the pool and she told her brother that mama is fat. I told her to meet me upstairs so we could chat.”

“The truth is, I am not fat. No one IS fat,” the mum explained to her daughter. “It’s not something you can BE. But I do HAVE fat. We ALL have fat. It protects our muscles and our bones and keeps our bodies going by providing us energy.”

My daughter called me fat today. She was upset I made them get out of the pool and she told her brother that mama is fat. I told her to meet me upstairs so we could chat. Me: "what did you say about me?" Her: "I said you were fat, mama, im sorry" Me: "let's talk about it. The truth is, I am not fat. No one IS fat. It's not something you can BE. But I do HAVE fat. We ALL have fat. It protects our muscles and our bones and keeps our bodies going by providing us energy. Do you have fat?" Her: "yes! I have some here on my tummy" Me: "that's right! So do I and so does your brother!" Her brother: "I don't have any fat, I'm the skinniest, I just have muscles" Me: "actually everyone, every single person in the world has fat. But each of us has different amounts." Her brother: " oh right! I have some to protect my big muscles! But you have more than me" Me: "Yes, that's true. Some people have a lot, and others don't have very much. But that doesn't mean that one person is better than the other, do you both understand? Both: "yes, mama" Me: "so can you repeat what I said" Them: "yes! I shouldn't say someone is fat because you can't be just fat, but everyone HAS fat and it's okay to have different fat" Me: "exactly right!" Them: "can we go back to the pool now?" Me: no ???????? __________________ Each moment these topics come up i have to choose how I'm going to handle them. Fat is not a bad word in our house. If I shame my children for saying it then I am proving that it is an insulting word and I continue the stigma that being fat is unworthy, gross, comical and undesirable. Since we don't call people fat as an insult in my household, I have to assume she internalized this idea from somewhere or someone else. Our children are fed ideas from every angle, you have to understand that that WILL happen: at a friends house whose parents have different values, watching a tv show or movie, overhearing someone at school- ideas about body image are already filtering through their minds. It is our job to continue to be the loudest, most accepting, positive and CONSISTENT voice they hear. So that it can rise above the rest. Give me a ???????? if this resonated w u! Just do you! Xoxo Allie

A post shared by ALLIE ???? Just Do You, Babe! (@allisonkimmey) on Jun 11, 2017 at 8:48am PDT

The mum then went on to explain that she and her brother also had fat, even though they each had different amounts.

“Some people have a lot, and others don’t have very much. But that doesn’t mean that one person is better than the other,” Allison continued.

She also explained that each time a tricky topic like this comes up she thinks carefully about how she is going to handle them.

“Fat is not a bad word in our house. If I shame my children for saying it then I am proving that it is an insulting word and I continue the stigma that being fat is unworthy, gross, comical and undesirable,” she continued her post.

“Since we don’t call people fat as an insult in my household, I have to assume she internalised this idea from somewhere or someone else.”

Allison says that children will pick up understandings and beliefs from friends, school, TV programmes, other parents but it’s important that when it comes to body image that they are taught to adopt an accepting attitude.

“Our children are fed ideas from every angle, you have to understand that that WILL happen: at a friends house whose parents have different values, watching a tv show or movie, overhearing someone at school- ideas about body image are already filtering through their minds,” she says.

“It is our job to continue to be the loudest, most accepting, positive and CONSISTENT voice they hear. So that it can rise above the rest.”

Allison told Cosmopolitan that this isn’t the first time she’s had to broach tricky topics with her children.

“One of the first [hard] conversations I had to have was with my daughter [was about a year ago] about not having to wear makeup in order to be pretty, or with my son that just because you can’t see your friends muscles doesn’t mean they aren’t strong.”

And the mum has some advice for other parents unsure about how to broach sensitive subjects with their children.

“I always begin by asking them what they meant by their statement or if they understand what a particular word means,” she told Cosmo.

“Usually it turns out they mean something completely different. And from there we break it apart more, I lead with questions for them and that provides an opportunity for me to help them get the answer themselves and empowers their belief system.”

Follow us on Instagram and Facebook for non-stop inspiration delivered fresh to your feed, every day. For Twitter updates, follow @YahooStyleUK

Read more from Yahoo Style UK:

Mum shares honest pic of stomach four days after giving birth

Woman 37 weeks pregnant challenges husband to workout, totally beats him

Plus-size models like Ashley Graham are having a positive effect on women’s mental health