Opinion: I guess Trump won because Democrats forgot to cheat. Oops!

Rex Huppke, USA TODAY
·3 min read

You want to know how badly the Democrats screwed up the presidential election? So badly they forgot to cheat.

I had it on very good authority – from President-elect Donald Trump himself, over and over again – that Vice President Kamala Harris and everyone in the Democratic Party were rigging the election and cheating like the cheating cheaters they are.

At a late October rally in Pennsylvania he said: “They’ve already started cheating in Lancaster. They’ve cheated.”

And at a recent Arizona rally he said: “The only thing that can stop us is the cheating. It’s the only thing that can stop us.”

Did Democrats forget to cheat? Because Trump wound up winning, guys.

President-elect Donald Trump attends his campaign rally at Van Andel Arena in Grand Rapids, Michigan, on Nov. 5, 2024.
President-elect Donald Trump attends his campaign rally at Van Andel Arena in Grand Rapids, Michigan, on Nov. 5, 2024.

Welp, the cheating we liberal types were supposed to be doing apparently didn’t happen, because nothing stopped Trump from decisively beating Harris in Tuesday night’s election.

So my question in the wake of this dispiriting defeat is: What the heck, guys? Who dropped the damn ball on the cheating and the skullduggery and whatnot?

Opinion: Trump wins 2024 election. America needs to admit it's not 'better than this.'

There's no way Trump spun a web of election denying lies, right?

Trump has been complaining about Democratic cheating since he lost the 2020 presidential election to Joe Biden. A bunch of his buddies attacked the U.S. Capitol and are now serving prison time because he told them that election was “rigged” and “stolen.”

Trump didn’t meet Biden at the White House as part of the ceremonial transfer of power.

And there were dozens of lawsuits filed alleging voter fraud in states across the country, and just because those cases were all tossed due to zero evidence of voter fraud, I can’t believe the whole “rigged election” thing was just one big lie.

People gather at the Michigan State Capitol for a "Stop the Steal" rally in support of US President Donald Trump on Nov. 14, 2020, in Lansing, Michigan.
People gather at the Michigan State Capitol for a "Stop the Steal" rally in support of US President Donald Trump on Nov. 14, 2020, in Lansing, Michigan.

Right? I mean, what kind of person would spin an elaborate web of lies that gets people locked up, persuades supporters to donate millions to pay legal fees for frivolous cases and leads attorneys to get disbarred?

No, there had to be some kind of basis for all the election denialism.

C'mon, Democrats, we're supposed to cheat using immigrants!

Why just a couple months ago Trump told Newsmax that Democrats were taking undocumented immigrants and registering them to vote, which is not a thing that can or does happen.

“They're working overtime to sign people and register people – many of the same people that you just see come across the border,” Trump said. "Which is probably their original thought, because why else would they want to destroy our country?”

Vice President Kamala Harris concedes the presidential election on Nov. 06, 2024, at Howard University, the historically Black college where she attended as an undergrad in Washington, D.C.
Vice President Kamala Harris concedes the presidential election on Nov. 06, 2024, at Howard University, the historically Black college where she attended as an undergrad in Washington, D.C.

What happened to all the undocumented immigrants we worked so hard to register to vote? Did somebody forget to give them the date? What a mess!

Did we forget to beat Trump using overseas ballots? Yeesh!

Trump also claimed in a social media post that fiendish liberals like myself were getting noncitizens overseas to vote: “The Democrats are talking about how they’re working so hard to get millions of votes from Americans living overseas. Actually, they are getting ready to CHEAT!”

Guys, why were we not ready to cheat?!?

Opinion: Harris concedes to Trump with grace. So I guess we don't get to storm the Capitol?

Shame on Democrats for making Trump look bad by not cheating

This is a complete, full-on abdication of our alleged dishonest electoral shenanigans. I, for one, feel very bad that we have made President-elect Trump look like a lying opportunist whose actions grifted millions from his supporters and landed people behind bars.

I can promise moving forward that we Democrats will fix our broken system of imaginary cheating. Otherwise, it might appear Republicans like Trump only say cheating occurred when they lose, and say everything went smoothly when they win.

That, of course, would be absurd.

Shame on us Democrats.

Follow USA TODAY columnist Rex Huppke on X, formerly Twitter, @RexHuppke and Facebook facebook.com/RexIsAJerk

You can read diverse opinions from our USA TODAY columnists and other writers on the Opinion front page, on X, formerly Twitter, @usatodayopinion and in our Opinion newsletter.

This article originally appeared on USA TODAY: Opinion: Why did Trump win? Democrats, we were supposed to cheat!

Latest Stories

  • Donald Trump Reportedly Takes Menacing Jab At Justin Trudeau In Mar-a-Lago Meeting

    The president-elect dismissed the Canadian prime minister’s tariff concerns with a confrontational joke.

  • When Trump Threatens, Canada and Mexico Go Their Own Way

    (Bloomberg) -- A week before Donald Trump fired off yet another tariff threat on his neighbors, Justin Trudeau and Claudia Sheinbaum had a chance to confer in person about how to tackle that very scenario. Would they join forces against their errant trading partner or was it going to be a case of every person for themselves? Most Read from BloombergAs Wars Rage, Cities Face a Dark New Era of Urban DestructionRiyadh Metro Partially Opens in Bid to Ease City’s Traffic JamsThe evidence is pointing

  • James Carville Claims 1 Person Is Secretly 'Driving' Trump's Sketchy Nominations

    The Democratic strategist was friends with the conservative figure who he says is wielding the most influence on the president-elect.

  • Bill Clinton Gives Dems Blunt Truths–And Reprimands Biden

    Bill Clinton expressed public misgivings about Joe Biden’s handling of his son’s pardon Wednesday–as he delivered a blunt assessment of why Democrats lost the election. “I wish he hadn’t said he wasn’t going to do it. It does weaken his case,” Clinton said of Biden’s repeated pledges not to pardon his son, which he reversed on Sunday night with a sweeping use of the presidential pardon power. Clinton, the 42nd president, was speaking in Manhattan at The New York Times' Dealbook event, the first

  • California Democrat flips final House seat, dealing Republicans narrow majority

    ABC projects that Democrat Adam Gray will win the race for California's 13th Congressional District, unseating incumbent Republican John Duarte and flipping the final unresolved seat in the 2024 election. With all 435 House races projected, ABC News estimates Republicans will hold 220 seats and Democrats 215 in the 119th Congress. President-elect Donald Trump initially tapped three House Republicans for positions in his upcoming administration: Florida Reps. Matt Gaetz and Mike Waltz, and New York Rep. Elise Stefanik.

  • Whether You Agree Or Not, Here's What 29 People Had To Say About Kamala Harris Potentially Running For President In 2028

    Over 600 people shared how they feel about Harris possibly returning to the campaign trail, and the range in responses is truly shocking.

  • Opinion: Michael Ian Black: What I Found Out About Trump Supporters by Making Them Laugh

    I upset a trio of women at one of my stand-up shows the other weekend. The women took offense when I was making jokes about the Jake Paul/Mike Tyson fight before moving on to Trump’s electoral win by saying, “Speaking of rapists.” They walked out. Generally, I’m not a particularly political comedian. My jokes tend to be about my family or stories of my own idiocy. But I’m also somebody who enjoys pushing a few buttons during my shows. When discussing an “empty nester” move for my wife and myself

  • Laura Loomer Mocks MTG Over Trump Pardon Comments

    Rep. Majorie Taylor Greene and far-right activist Laura Loomer are fighting again. This time, it’s over a post by Greene regarding Joe Biden’s decision to pardon his son, Hunter, for tax evasion and gun charges. While Greene and Loomer may seem like two sides of the same coin— both are MAGA provocateurs with long histories of incendiary comments— their frequent spats on social media show the two aren’t allies outside of their allegiance to Donald Trump. After Biden’s surprise move to pardon his

  • Trudeau’s Immigration Plan Hinges on Millions of People Leaving

    (Bloomberg) -- Prime Minister Justin Trudeau’s plan to fix immigration in Canada depends on the biggest exodus of people since at least the 1940s — one that many economists doubt is feasible.Most Read from BloombergAs Wars Rage, Cities Face a Dark New Era of Urban DestructionRiyadh Metro Partially Opens in Bid to Ease City’s Traffic JamsSlamming the brakes on record-setting population growth requires 2.4 million non-permanent residents to leave or change status over the next two years, according

  • Ted Cruz Takes a Truly Gross Pornographic Jab at ‘Morning Joe’ Stars’ Meeting With Trump

    Senator Ted Cruz (R-TX) hit Morning Joe co-hosts Joe Scarborough and Mika Brzezinski below the belt with a vulgar insult saying they’d kissed the President-elect Donald Trump “a little bit lower” than “the ring” at their recent visit to Mar-a-Lago. On Monday’s broadcast of Fox News’ Hannity, host Sean Hannity marveled at Scarborough and Brzezinski’s recent disclosure that they traveled to the president-elect’s Florida residence after the election to meet their professed foe: “You have Joe and Mi

  • Ted Cruz Mocks 'Morning Joe' Hosts And Gets Hit With A Humiliating Throwback

    The Texas senator made a vulgar suggestion about the MSNBC hosts' meeting with Donald Trump.

  • Pete Hegseth Faces Reporters on Capitol Hill Asking if He’s a Drunk

    President-elect Donald Trump’s defense secretary nominee Pete Hegseth faced reporters on Capitol Hill Monday but refused to answer questions surrounding accusations about his drinking habits. Arriving for meetings, Hegseth, 44, was directly asked at one point, “Do you have an alcohol problem?” The former Fox News host ignored the question and continued on.

  • South Korea’s Yoon Declares Martial Law in Emergency Address

    (Bloomberg) -- South Korean President Yoon Suk Yeol declared martial law on Tuesday in an emergency national address televised live. Most Read from BloombergAs Wars Rage, Cities Face a Dark New Era of Urban DestructionRiyadh Metro Partially Opens in Bid to Ease City’s Traffic JamsYoon said the decision was made to protect freedom and constitutional order, as he accused the opposition of trying to paralyze the administration with impeachment moves. “Through the declaration of martial law, I will

  • China bans exports to US of gallium, germanium, antimony in response to chip sanctions

    BANGKOK (AP) — China announced Tuesday it is banning exports to the United States of gallium, germanium, antimony and other key high-tech materials with potential military applications, as a general principle, lashing back at U.S. limits on semiconductor-related exports.

  • Miami flipped red for the first time since 1988. These Latino voters know exactly why.

    Donald Trump’s criticism of migrants didn’t deter Venezuelans or other Hispanic voters in Miami from supporting the now-president-elect.

  • Joly touts 'private' diplomacy as Mexico criticizes Canada's culture, trade

    OTTAWA — Foreign Affairs Minister Mélanie Joly is not escalating a war of words with Mexico, after the Mexican president criticized Canada's culture and its framing of border issues.

  • Donald Trump DEA pick Chad Chronister withdraws from consideration, citing 'gravity' of job

    Sheriff Chad Chronister said in a statement that he decided to withdraw after "the gravity of this very important responsibility set in."

  • New poll suggests Quebec premier even less popular than Justin Trudeau

    MONTREAL — A prominent polling analyst says Quebec's governing party would be reduced to fewer than 10 seats in the provincial legislature if an election were held today, based on current poll numbers.

  • New SCOTUS Leak Reveals Who Didn’t Want Ethics Rules Enforced

    The United States Supreme Court revealed what some justices touted as a landmark new ethics code last year. But critics noted that the scandal-plagued institution’s new rules lacked any enforcement mechanisms, making them essentially a 14-page long list of suggestions. A new leak of secret discussions from behind the bench, published in The New York Times Tuesday, reveals which justices fought to keep the code of conduct toothless.

  • Jesse Watters Demands ‘Eye Candy’ From Female Trump Appointees

    Jesse Watters faced blowback online after saying he wanted to see more “eye candy” from female Trump appointees. The Fox News host said he’d “like to see Linda McMahon doing yoga” or Tulsi Gabbard “surfing.” His remarks came after The Five show screened footage of Robert F. Kennedy Jr. showing off his muscles in a shirtless workout ahead of his Department of Health and Human Services confirmation hearing.