Parents open up about sons' deaths, want stories heard at upcoming foster care inquiry
Ahead of a planned inquiry into Innu children's experience in foster care, two parents from Natuashish are sharing their separate but similar stories of teenage boys who died of exposure shortly after returning home from care.
Kirby Mistenapeo and James Poker were both 17 years old when they froze to death outside Natuashish. James died in 2015, Kirby in 2016. They both spent time outside Newfoundland and Labrador in foster care.
Thomas Poker remembers when he started to worry about James: it was when he started talking to himself.
"That's when I knew that something is really wrong," Poker said.
It was 2014 and the then 16-year-old was not long back in Natuashish. He had spent close to half his life in foster care. For a while, Poker believed that was the best thing for him.
Poker and James's mother split when James was still a baby. Poker moved to Happy Valley-Goose Bay for college, and James lived with an aunt in Natuashish.
When James was taken into the foster system, Poker was living in a dorm and not able to care for him.
After bouncing around a few foster homes in Labrador, James was placed with a family in North Bay, Ont.
Poker stayed in touch with social workers, who said James was doing well in school and was playing hockey.
At 16, James was asked if he wanted to return home. He said yes and moved in with Poker in Natuashish.
"I thought he was doing OK, and was really happy," Thomas said, but things quickly went downhill.
He remembers a camping trip the family took shortly after James returned. His son seemed distant, and didn't want to help set up camp or gather wood.
"He said he doesn't know anything and he's really lost," Poker said. "And he's really, very uncomfortable in the country."
A few months later, the boy who didn't like spending time in the wilderness set out on an impossible walk.
His friends say they believe he was trying to get to Hopedale, some 80 kilometres away.
Even an experienced outdoorsman would struggle to survive an overnight walk across sea ice in Labrador.
James' body was found after an 11-day search.
A little more than a year later, search and rescue volunteers would head out on a similar mission, one that would end the same way.
'He's not Kirby anymore'
Kirby Mistenapeo grew up in his grandparents' house. Grandfather Sebastian Piwas says Kirby lived with him from the time he was an infant.
When he was 15, Kirby started sniffing gas. Piwas says he was peer-pressured by other children, but it quickly developed into an addiction.
Kirby was sneaking out at night and sleeping all day. Piwas called the provincial government department, then known as Child, Youth and Family Services.
"They agreed to take him to treatment in Ontario," Piwas said.
"The first few months he kept calling and calling, saying he's lonely," Piwas said. "I told him, 'You need help.'"
After three months, the calls stopped. Worried, Piwas called the treatment centre to check in on his grandson.
"Then I realized that he's not there any more," Piwas said. "He's not Kirby anymore."
After six months, Kirby was home again, his treatment apparently ineffective. Piwas said Kirby was moody and acting out like a small child.
On April 20, 2016, Piwas was on a trip to Happy Valley-Goose Bay, getting ready to fly back to Natuashish, when Kirby called his cell.
He asked his grandfather to buy him fast food: chicken and burgers that aren't available in Natuashish. Piwas agreed and told Kirby he'd see him in a few hours.
When he got home, Kirby was gone.
The 17-year-old walked 11 kilometres west of Natuashish, out onto thin sea ice. His body wasn't found for 12 days.
Parents question medications
Both Piwas and Poker say their children were medicated while in foster care, and that they as parents did not understand what their boys were being treated for.
Poker said James received two different diagnoses: PTSD and depression, and was treated with different medications at different times.
Piwas said he understood even less about Kirby's mental health. He said he was once asked to sign some medical paperwork, but it was never fully explained to him.
Both James Poker and Kirby Mistenapeo were taking prescription pills when they got home, according to their parents. Neither had any followup meetings with health-care professionals or social workers.
"There's no transition plan," Poker said. "They just sent him home."
Thomas Poker and Sebastian Piwas both said they welcome an inquiry into foster care, although Piwas is careful not to set expectations too high.
"I don't know if you're going to get the answers in there or not, but I support the inquiry," he said.
According to a memorandum of understanding released in early July, Innu leaders and provincial politicians will "seek to reach agreement by July 31, 2017" on the inquiry's terms of reference, as well as who will lead the process.
Both men said they want to give testimony at the inquiry, and hope it will help them find answers since they are living with regret.
Piwas wishes he hadn't sent Kirby to treatment. Poker wishes he'd done more to bring James home.
"Sometimes I blame myself," he said, but Poker reserves some blame for the foster care system itself.
"They should have come to me if they think we are not capable of raising our kids, instead of breaking the family apart," Poker said.
