Regina film 'This is Miscarriage' premieres this weekend
Laura Strem says she is not a filmmaker and she does not identify with that label.
"I'm just a mom with a broken heart and I wanted to change this conversation," Strem said.
She sat down with The Morning Edition on Friday to talk about her short film 'This is Miscarriage.'
The film's concept was created after Strem suffered a third miscarriage earlier in 2016. Her first happened roughly nine weeks into the pregnancy. Strem had a healthy baby boy before she had her second and third miscarriages.
"You think that after you have one baby, you're in the clear, your body knows how to do it; you should be fine going alone, so that was very devastating for us," she said of her feelings at the time.
Group effort
The film examines the underlying themes of grief, loss and loneliness Strem and 10 other women felt after the loss of a child following a miscarriage. Though those common themes run through each story, Strem said each story is different.
"Throughout this whole experience, I suppose that I've just felt so alone."
To deal with her grief, Strem sought out support and found it in the form of an online group.
By extending that helping hand, Strem said the group realized that it is okay to talk about miscarriages.
"It doesn't help anyone if you ignore it or sweep it under the rug," she said.
Strem added women who've gone through it want to hear that others are there for them, to acknowledge the loss and provide support.
"I don't know that there is a right thing to say but the right thing to do is just be there, to acknowledge it."
Mixed feelings
Strem was told by doctors it was not uncommon to have a miscarriage but that didn't stop her from feeling guilt.
"I think, biologically, we feel like it's our duty to reproduce," Strem said.
"When you can't, there's a sense of shame that comes along with that."
Strem said society tells women to hold off on telling people about their pregnancies until after the first trimester because it's common to lose a baby during that time.
"Women feel that they shouldn't talk about it," she said. "If you've done that and you haven't told people about it, it's really hard to bring up that conversation after the fact and say 'I was pregnant, but I'm not anymore.'"
Strem insists a miscarriage is nothing to be ashamed or embarrassed about. She said it's not something people often talk about but hopes her film will start a conversation.
The film premieres Saturday at the Royal Saskatchewan Museum at 6:30. Admission is by donation. Proceeds will support the Early Pregnancy Assessment Centre at Regina General Hospital.
Those unable to attend can still make donations online.
