Seth Meyers on Trump-Parnas photos: 'A mall Santa for wannabe Goodfellas'

Guardian staff
Seth Meyers on Trump-Parnas photos: 'A mall Santa for wannabe Goodfellas'. Late-night hosts discussed impeachment updates including ‘the smoking goon’ Lev Parnas and his revealing interviews

Late-night hosts ran through the latest revelations concerning Donald Trump’s impeachment and the damning interviews given by Rudy Giuliani’s associate Lev Parnas.

Seth Meyers

On Late Night, Seth Meyers played footage of the president referring to himself in the third person at a rally this week. “Trump is so detached from reality that he’s starting to talk like a sitcom character doing his catchphrase,” he said.

He also joked about Trump’s new obsession with water pressure. “I don’t want to be critical but is it possible you’re not paying the White House water bill?” he said.

This week Trump also made a bizarre, unprompted comment about a firework display for the Fourth of July at Mount Rushmore. He claimed it had been boohooed as it was dangerous but no fire could happen as it’s all stone. “It’s surrounded by trees,” Meyers countered. “There’s a forest right across the street.”

He called Parnas and his partner, Igor Fruman, “the Mario and Luigi of entry-level mobsters” and referenced the fact that Trump has had his picture taken with all of the criminals linked to the investigation. “Trump’s like a mall Santa for wannabe Goodfellas,” he joked.

The House speaker, Nancy Pelosi, spoke this week about the need for career litigators to be involved in the trial. “Democrats are actually appointing experienced litigators while Trump’s team is just a bunch of heavies who he picked up off a street corner in Bayonne, the guys Trump bought at Goons R Us,” he said.

Trevor Noah

On The Daily Show, Trevor Noah spoke about the need for senators to sign their names one-by-one in an oath book as proceedings began, joking that it was “the first time ever that anyone’s asked for Ted Cruz’s autograph”.

Parnas has been speaking to Anderson Cooper and Rachel Maddow about his involvement with the Ukraine quid pro quo scandal. Trump has claimed never to have met him but Parnas has said that each time he denies this, he will release another photo of them together.

Related: Stephen Colbert on impeachment: 'Rubicon crossed, toothpaste de-tubed'

“You know the game is real when someone is threatening to open their camera roll,” Noah said.

He also joked about the increasing number of names who are becoming implicated. “So many people are involved they’re gonna have to take a party bus to the trial,” he said.

While events are heating up in DC, Trump has been speaking about dishwashers, showers and toilets at rallies. “I knew it, he’s terrified,” Noah commented.

Stephen Colbert

On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert spoke about the new evidence that has come out this week.

“For weeks Republicans have ignored mounting evidence that Trump knew everything that was happening with the Ukraine scheme and Democrats have been waiting for the other shoe to drop,” he said. “Well last night, an entire Foot Locker fell out of the sky.”

He referred to Parnas as “a recently indicted goon” and played footage of him speaking to Maddow, claiming that Trump knew what was happening despite his denials. “This is the first time anyone has used the phrase ‘Trump knew exactly what was going on’,” he said.

Parnas has confessed to being a big fan of Trump’s with a shrine of sorts at his home. “I can understand that because every time I look at Trump I say ‘Jesus’,” Colbert said.

Jimmy Kimmel

On Jimmy Kimmel Live! the host referred to it as “an all-caps kinda day” before commenting on the fact that senators will need to stand when they cast votes during the trial. “For a lot of these senators, this will be the first time they’ve stood for anything,” he joked.

Kimmel then talked about Parnas, referring to him as “the smoking goon” and joking about the “disorganised crime” that was happening around Trump. “Maybe the most shocking revelation of all is that Lev Parnas is 46 years old,” he quipped.

He continued: “That’s what happens when Rudy drinks your blood.”

Kimmel also found time to joke about Time’s awkward cover image of Jared Kushner. “How are we supposed to trust him with the Middle East when he doesn’t even know what to do with his arms?” he said.