Stephen Colbert Mocks Gwyneth Paltrow’s Wellness Brand Goop

Nick Paschal
Supervising Producer, Yahoo Entertainment

Oscar-winning actress Gwyneth Paltrow recently told Matt Lauer on The Today Show that she is taking a break from acting to focus on her lifestyle brand, Goop. Paltrow recently held a one-day wellness summit for Goop, and the cheapest tickets cost $500. On The Late Show, Stephen Colbert took time off from mocking Donald Trump to mock Paltrow’s luxurious lifestyle brand.  

The event featured crystal therapy, aura photography, and sound baths, where people could “Sink into the sounds of crystal singing bowls.” After describing those features, Colbert said, “You can get the same effect by flushing your money down a crystal toilet bowl.” The most ridiculous item was the Jade Egg. Colbert said, “Attendees could also purchase Goop’s signature Jade Egg, which can be strategically placed to increase vaginal muscle tone.” The Late Show host then added, “It’s an excellent exercise, but you’re going to want a spotter.”

Paltrow’s event is mostly geared toward women, but Colbert had something for the fellas. Colbert shared that he also has a lifestyle brand, called Covetton House, and there was a special product just for the guys. Colbert said, “While other wellness symposiums might offer vaginal steaming or jade exercise eggs, we pamper the male yoni with organic gravel scrotal abrasion.”

The Late Show With Stephen Colbert airs weeknights at 11:35 p.m. on CBS. 

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