Bravo's Tracy Tutor on getting 'tons' of mom-shaming: 'I hear that I'm too sexy to be a mom, that I work too hard'

Welcome to So Mini Ways, Yahoo Life's parenting series on the joys and challenges of child rearing.

Best-selling author, real estate mogul and reality star Tracy Tutor made a name for herself selling (yep!) million-dollar listings long before she was famous on Bravo for being the first female realtor on the hit show Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles. With nearly two decades of luxury real estate experience under her belt, Tutor is one of the top agents at Douglas Elliman Beverly Hills, representing some of the most noteworthy brands in real estate and architecture.

Tutor’s also a mother to teenage girls, trying to juggle parenting and her steadfast work ethic,while adjusting to a new life (and new love!) after divorcing Jason Maltas in 2018.

As Million Dollar Listing Los Angeles enters its 13th season, Yahoo Life caught up with the California native about parenting teenage daughters Juliet and Scarlett and making time for herself.

What’s your approach to parenting?

I wouldn’t describe myself as a helicopter-type parent: When my kids were a lot younger, I was strict about manners and things like that, but as they’ve gotten older, they’re self-starters now. I think allowing them to find their way as young girls — versus me hovering consistently — they’re independent starters because I allow them to find their way.

It seems as if everyone around me is doing the opposite [by helicopter parenting], but I just don't know that that makes for successful young adults. If I’m hovering over my kids, weighing in on every decision, when they do get into that high-pressure school (or whatever it is they’re shooting for in this competitive world we live in!) they won't survive. I don't think that makes for a successful adult [or] a young woman learning how to take care of herself and start a life independently from… me.

Is there anything that surprised you about parenting?

Raising girls in the environment we’re in [culturally], I’m lucky because I innately operate as a feminist. The girls see me working as a divorced mom. It's hard to raise young women today and give them the tools they need to become a successful adult, and not dependent on men. I wasn't in that space when I had my daughters… and I found that once I had these little girls who looked up to me, my life shifted. I had to live without having to depend on someone for their entire existence and happiness.

Do you have any advice when it comes to dealing with mom-shamers?

100 percent! I hear that I’m too sexy to be a mom, that I work too hard… I get tons of shame. I had to look at my two daughters and really not let that creep in because I have two fabulous kids — not without their share of struggles. It’s not easy for a family to go through a separation, but their response to me made that noise go away. People are shocked that my daughters are high-functioning — it’s a feat in this town [laughs].

How do your daughters feel about the show? Will we see them on MDLLA?

My older daughter Juliet will appear on it — she’s only 15 years old but she’s having a good time being a part of it. Scarlett is 13 years old and she’s hyper-focused on riding horses and training, so she doesn’t have as much time to be in front of the camera.

She sounds focused like her mom! How do you carve out time for yourself?

Oh [laughs]! Just me, myself and I? That’s rare, if I’m being honest. But I do try to take little moments to take care of myself and do beauty stuff — I’m 46 years old and I value taking care of my body. Doing an infrared sauna for an hour is my time. I take the time when I can to feel good — but I can’t say it’s frequent.

Do you use that rare alone time to do something for yourself?

I try to do something for myself — even if it’s once a month. We kind of work seven days a week [in the real estate biz] and I’m never really “off duty,” even when I’m on vacation.

This interview has been edited for clarity and length.

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