Advertisement

Transgender head teacher returns to work as a woman after feeling like an 'imposter'

 

A transgender headteacher has gone back to work as a woman – Britain’s first head return to their post after changing sex.

Claire Birkenshaw, 48, says she had long felt like an “imposter to masculinity” and had “faked being a man”.

Formerly known as Michael, the transgender teacher took a six-month career break to begin changing from male to female.

Claire – head of Ashwell Academy in Hull, East Yorkshire –  was just four when she started experiencing gender dysphoria, and spent decades feeling shameful and guilty as a result.

She said: “I’ve had a lifetime of fear about being ‘found out’, like I was an imposter to masculinity.

“It was an age where there was little knowledge about transgender. I learned to mask my true self and fit in as best as I could.

“However, maintaining something you are not is not an easy thing to do. Shame is a very powerful emotion, and the guilt, too. I constructed this picture to the world out of it.”

MORE: Pensioner returns grandfather’s book to library 120 YEARS late and escapes £7,000 fine

MORE: Malta becomes first country in Europe to outlaw controversial ‘gay cure’ therapy

Claire started experiencing gender dysphoria when she was just four (SWNS)
Claire started experiencing gender dysphoria when she was just four (SWNS)

She said her teaching career provided a “white noise” that helped to block out the deep-seated anxiety and unhappiness she felt about her gender.

Claire said: “I am quite a determined person, so I think I would always have been as successful as I have been.

“But teaching is such an intense, pressured environment it meant it could become like a white noise behind what I was feeling.”

As Michael, Claire
As Michael, Claire “I learned to mask my true self and fit in as best as I could” (SWNS)

However, she admits it was her career that made her put off making her transition.

She said: “Schools are very complex organisations and I just wasn’t sure if the industry was ready for it.

“But I just thought of all the children who might be experiencing what I went through. I don’t want any child to feel what I felt.”

Claire considered leaving Ashwell Academy, above, and making a fresh start (SWNS)
Claire considered leaving Ashwell Academy, above, and making a fresh start (SWNS)

She said she considered moving away from Ashwell Academy, a specialist school with 58 pupils aged 11-16, and beginning somewhere new. In the end it was the fear of being “discovered” that motivated her to be open about the change.

Claire said: “I accepted that my journey would not be easy and there would be numerous hurdles to cross, but I also knew that if I did not transition I would not be being true to myself.

“I also know that, if I did nothing, then as an educationalist that believes in helping all children to feel that their life has meaning and purpose, I would be letting those transgendered children down who share those thoughts, feelings and fears I had when I was growing up.

“After living so long feeling invisible, I wanted to make myself visible. It’s like I’m taking everyone on this journey with me.

“And it’s not been easy. Some people say it can be a difficult thing to get their head around, and for some people there is a bereavement for Mike, I think.

“To say I am happier would be an understatement. Things seem more vivid and real now.”

Though it hasn't been easy, Claire says she's much happier living as a woman (SWNS)
Though it hasn’t been easy, Claire says she’s much happier living as a woman (SWNS)

She added that she wanted to be seen as a role model for children experiencing gender dysphoria to show them it shouldn’t be a barrier to their happiness.

She said: “What I think was pivotal was looking at the statistics for suicide in transgender young people. And wanting to tell these young people they should feel proud of themselves, and happy in themselves.

“I think the thing to get across is this isn’t a choice. What we want is the support and to be loved and accepted.”