Trevor Noah Terrified by Trump’s Coronavirus Response: ‘We’re Definitely All Going to Die’

Matt Wilstein
Comedy Central

The moment Trevor Noah knew we were in trouble was when he heard President Donald Trump say this: “There’s a very good chance you’re not going to die.”

“OK, we’re definitely all going to die,” he said in response.

The Daily Show host spent Wednesday night’s episode digging into the Trump administration’s response to the growing coronavirus crisis, beginning with his decision to put Vice President Mike Pence in charge. “I think this is great,” Noah joked. “Mike Pence has a lot of experience in this area. He’s been quarantining himself from women his whole life.”

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But all jokes aside, he explained that he still feels “safer” in Pence’s hands than Trump’s, especially since the president “didn’t seem to know anything that we didn’t” about the outbreak. And on top of that, he said that Trump “seemed less concerned about a pandemic hurting people than he did about it hurting the economy.”

“That’s Trump’s real nightmare,” he continued. “If his stock market gets sick, he’d be like, ‘No, not my poor stock market! Not Wall Street!”

While Trump might be “great for jokes,” Noah argued that “in times of crisis, Trump is the worst person to reassure the nation.” He compared the president to the kind of parent who would “freak their kid out even more” when they complain about monsters under their bed.

Ultimately, Noah ended his segment with some important tips for viewers about washing their hands and coughing into their elbows. “If you do all of those things,” he concluded, “there’s a good chance you’re probably not going to die.”

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