Valerie Bertinelli Describes 'Toxic' Situations, Says 'You Don't Have to Forgive to Move On' Following Divorce

·3 min read

The Food Network star has been candid with her followers about her healing journey after her divorce

Zach Pagano/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty
Zach Pagano/NBC/NBCU Photo Bank via Getty

Valerie Bertinelli is sharing healing wisdom with her followers.

On Tuesday, the Food Network star posted an Instagram Story that included some inspirational words of advice for any of her fans going through a tough time.

"When something is toxic, and it's only ever been that…Do your best to heal your way to indifference," she wrote. "You do not have to forgive to move on🤍."

Before closing out her Story, she wrote, "You deserve peace.✌🏻🤍."

Bertinelli was inspired by a video of Taylor Swift who shared a similar sentiment in an interview with CBS Sunday Morning in 2019. She reposted the interview in part. "You don't have to forgive and you don't have to forget to move on. You can move on without any of those things. You just become indifferent and you move on," Swift said.

Bertinelli's message comes after her marriage to ex-husband Tom Vitale ended in 2022. She was also married to the late Eddie Van Halen from 1981 to 2007.

Taylor Hill/Getty
Taylor Hill/Getty

The actress filed for divorce from Vitale in May 2022, six months after filing for legal separation in November 2021. In November 2022, she shared on Twitter that she was celebrating what she called the "second best day of my life," when she became officially divorced from Vitale.

In February, Bertinelli opened up about "hidden bruises" she "activated" after putting on a pair of pants that she was previously ridiculed for wearing.

"I'm giggling because I had a small hidden bruise that was activated today. You can probably hear them because my pants are rubbing together and it makes this particular sound," she said. "I stopped wearing them because I was…mercilessly mocked, you know, 'I'm too lazy to do anything about it. They wouldn't rub together if you...'" she trailed off.

The Kids Baking Championship star explained that "hidden bruises are something that emotional, verbal, mental abuse do to you."

"People can't see [them] but we got to deal with [them] everyday when they're activated," she said. "I'm so grateful the work that I'm doing on healing, is working."

Related:Valerie Bertinelli Shares Sweet Message on First Valentine's Day Since Her Divorce

Even though it makes her "giggle now," Bertinelli admitted she once "put these pants away forever" and even changed the way she walked in them. But now, she feels liberated to wear them again.

Related:Valerie Bertinelli Says She Has a 'Hidden Bruise' After Being 'Mercilessly Mocked' Over a Pair of Pants

In January, she posted about "finding texts" and being called "fat and lazy" in the past.

"I have been screamed at so many times and told how fat and lazy I am," Bertinelli said in an Instagram video. "I realize…that was someone just projecting on me whatever they needed to project on me, but my part in all of it was believing it, and I don't believe it anymore. But it still doesn't stop the feelings from coming up and the hurt."

Bertinelli has said that through "journaling, therapy and especially humor," she is healing.

If you are experiencing domestic violence, call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 1-800-799-7233, or go to All calls are toll-free and confidential. The hotline is available 24/7 in more than 170 languages.

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