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Washroom worry: N.L. mom of autistic son wants gender-neutral bathrooms

A St. John's woman who has an autistic son is calling for restaurants, sporting facilities and other public buildings to have gender-neutral bathrooms after a recent "eye-opening" experience at the Aquarena.

Florence Strang had taken her 12-year-old son Ben, who has autism, to his swimming lessons last week when he had to go to the washroom — something he needs assistance with. Without a family washroom at the facility, the pair went into the women's washroom.

"The only person sharing Ben's bathroom space was a little girl, about 12 years old. And you know at that age, they are starting to notice boys and so on," Strang told CBC Radio's St. John's Morning Show.

"She was obviously very uncomfortable, very embarrassed. I was embarrassed by it. And I also think about Ben's dignity and how he is perceived by people,"

Strang said she is a single mom and Ben's respite worker is also a woman. The issue is becoming more acute now that her son is no longer a child, she said.

"He takes a size 10 in men's shoes, he's a big boy and he's not getting any smaller. And it occurred to me: Ben's growing into a man, what do I do then? I'm his primary caregiver."

Strang said she isn't taking issue with the Aquarena specifically, but the incident made her decide to push for more facilities like the ones in newer buildings.

"I'm noticing a lot of the newer restaurants that I go into, like Freshii [on Topsail Road] is one, for example, have gender-neutral bathrooms," she noted.

Strang has launched a petition, on Facebook. As of Tuesday morning, her post had more than 1,600 comments and 300 shares.

Intellectual disabilities overlooked

Strang said as Ben becomes a teenager, accompanying him to the bathroom will only get more complicated.

"The only other option I could see for me is to go to the staff … to ask somebody to clear the [women's] bathroom, just as it if was being cleaned … which again, is not the most convenient thing."

Strang said while building owners might balk at having to add a third bathroom, she wants people to think of the situation that she and Ben — and others like them — find themselves in.

"If you were to say, well, somebody in a wheelchair can't access a bathroom, it would be a big deal. There are at least as many people with autism as there are people in wheelchairs, and many of them cannot access a bathroom because of their intellectual disability," Strang said.

"We don't stop to think about intellectual disabilities when we're thinking about things like bathroom access."