Wild coach discusses 'getting hammered' and 'banging' in all-time presser

Kyle Cantlon
·2 min read

Dean Evason has had a hell of a debut season heading up the Minnesota Wild bench, putting his Jack Adams bid for NHL coach of the year in early and often through the first half of his rookie campaign.

More importantly — to simp fans of this nonsense like me, at least — he's probably already a lock for the "non-existent" yet extremely prestigious Absurd Sound Bite Of The Year Award that I just made up, after he registered this instant classic during his Tuesday call with reporters:

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"You're playing every second night, I mean you're not going to be banging each other down low when you've banged the night before and you're about to get hammered again the next night," Evason said, completely serious and totally oblivious to the magnitude of the viral gold spewing out of his mouth.

If you must know, Evason was asked about having less practice time this season due to the condensed schedule of the pandemic-shortened season.

Without context, however — and let me be clear that absolutely none is needed to enjoy the sheer greatness of this quote —this sound bite gets elevated into the pantheon of all-timers. The way he is so damn serious, his insightful tone while muttering those now-iconic words, his word selection and sentence structure, it's all just so perfect.

This man responded to a simple, everyday question with an answer that made the least possible amount of sense to the largest possible amount of people, but one which boasted the highest "viral-content ROI" potential for us dumb bloggers to sink our teeth into.

That's elite, one-step-ahead, galaxy brain stuff from Evason — perfectly on brand with the surging Minnesota Wild .

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